for anon above you, i can explain why people pat their butt
most of us don't care how quickly or slowly we get tagged -- or rather, we care, but we know it's not ~*bad behavior*~ when someone gets backed up on tags, we're not so egotistical as to think the people we write off of are like dogs that need training, and we're not owed anything from them
people like us, the silent majority, we just want to play. if someone flakes out on us and then pops up again, as long as their tags were good and their thread was fun, we'll play with them again. we won't hold grudges or send pa notes to the effect of never tag me again you cishet scum ahsdgfasdfjgjksdaf burnt toast.
life's too short and dwrp too small to hold grudges over petty shit like flaking is the way i look at. but then, people like anon above are just as entitled to their prerogative too
life's also too short to waste your time on someone who doesn't deliver. some of us have very limited time, and if we sacrifice tagging time with other people we want to play with and use it on another player who repeatedly flakes out, then fuck that. why should we anxiously wait and hope that we'll get thrown a bone ~one of these days, when we can just write off the problem player and have fun with people who actually give a damn about participating?
touche. if you do have partners available who are both good and reliable writers, then certainly there's no incentive to tag people you don't think will hold up their end of the rp transaction so to speak. but even in such a scenario, is it really necessary to burn your bridges with them either? they may get their act together, or they may play a castmate you really want, or any number of other possibilities. i just don't see the point in laying waste to a functioning relationship with a (presumably) competent rper when dwrp is so small and so full of shit-tiers that aren't any good for anything outside of secondhand embarrassment.
personally if i've cut someone out of my circle for being a flake, i've always found other personality aspects i've found irritating or toxic. flakes are rarely just flakes, they're usually pretty shitty people to have around in the first place, in addition to being flakes.
there's also a big difference between being a slow tagger and being a flake. slow taggers i am 100% okay with. slow taggers are usually just normal people who have irl obligations, or even other games, that take up the majority of their time. that's fine. slow taggers are also usually pretty honest with you about their time and motivation concerning the threads you're doing.
flakes, on the other hand, are a different story. they're generally selfish because they feel like they don't owe you anything- and it's true, no one owes anyone tags, but this is a group hobby where we all rely on each other to do things in a timely manner. if you say you're going to do something, whether rp or not, it's considered bad form if you never actually do it. leaving people hanging is considered rude in every aspect of life. they also tend to be dishonest. i've found that most flakes will say "omg i'll tag that thread asap i promise i've just been so busy!" when they have no intention of doing it- i've watched a flake i've known literally say that shit to someone on plurk, and then on aim tell me "omfg that person is so fucking annoying why don't they take a hint? if i'm not tagging them I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM."
and it's not just one person i've known like this, a majority of the flaky people i've known have also been dramatic, paranoid (they think everyone is as two-faced to them as they are to other people), childish, rude, selfish, handflappy, self-conscious to the point of needng constant asspatters, and inconsiderate. so when you see someone talking about dropping a flake, i'm willing to bet money that flake had some other personality issues going on, and what they had with each other wasn't a functioning relationship.
why are you so buttblistered when the kind of people ayrt are bitching about aren't even the people you're describing
they're not even referring to people who you have a fun, maybe slow thread with, who drop another thread, then pop up again. they're referring to people who constantly app into and drop out of games without enough time to create threads, get established, or do anything but waste mods' and other players' time, who never tag anything, never finish anything, make constant promises they don't keep, hold up important plots, and then constantly whine to plurk about it. they're not ~someone whose tags were good and maybe one thread was fun and while they ended up dropping another thread along the way. there are no good tags or fun threads to be had here because these sorts of people don't give tags OR complete threads. and then cry about it. and then get ointment gently administered by the plurk buttpat machine.
these days i'm not buttmad about flaky people - i have super limited time to play, so i only play with people i know are reliable - but that was only because i cut them all out of my rp circle entirely
why are you so buttblistered when the kind of people ayrt are bitching about aren't even the people you're describing
Because without fail every time someone complains about flakes, someone takes it too personally and tries to make it seem like anyone who has ever complained about flakes is an over-invested tag nazi who starts tearing their own hair out over a single dropped thread. AYRT even brought up "cishet scum" JUST to make the complainers look ridiculously unreasonable when chronic flaking is a perfectly reasonable thing to complain about.
The flake defense squad around here is super invested in being ~reasonable and accommodating~, but they don't realize that most DWRPers are pretty chill already when it comes to tags. The vast majority of flake complaints I've seen have been about people who CONSTANTLY drop threads a few comments in/as soon as they're good for AC, people who never ever follow through on plans, or people who have a chronic cycle of apping to a game, squatting for a few months, and dropping so they can app a new shiny somewhere else. Not regular people who get busy or forget a tag every now and then.
No, no one is owed tags, but that doesn't mean you have to keep tagging someone who constantly wastes your time, nor does it make tagging habits a taboo thing to complain about on a community made for complaints. Why oh why are people so invested in defending anonymous flakes? Are they flakes themselves?
I am a flake (albeit a flake who's trying to get better and slowly doing so) and I agree with this message.
Are they flakes themselves?
yes, probably. No one is as chill with chronic flakes like us to the point they would whiteknight us so defensively. like you said, most people don't mind slow. it's players who break promises and waste others' time that get scorn, and the only people who seek to defend that behavior are the ones propagating it. I should know, since I used to do the same before I realized what an ass I was being.
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wankgate2015-03-23 07:32 pm
ITT: BUTTMAD TAG NAZIS
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)most of us don't care how quickly or slowly we get tagged -- or rather, we care, but we know it's not ~*bad behavior*~ when someone gets backed up on tags, we're not so egotistical as to think the people we write off of are like dogs that need training, and we're not owed anything from them
people like us, the silent majority, we just want to play. if someone flakes out on us and then pops up again, as long as their tags were good and their thread was fun, we'll play with them again. we won't hold grudges or send pa notes to the effect of never tag me again you cishet scum ahsdgfasdfjgjksdaf burnt toast.
life's too short and dwrp too small to hold grudges over petty shit like flaking is the way i look at. but then, people like anon above are just as entitled to their prerogative too
Re: ITT: BUTTMAD TAG NAZIS
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)it's stale toast
da
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 03:44 pm (UTC)(link)ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)there's also a big difference between being a slow tagger and being a flake. slow taggers i am 100% okay with. slow taggers are usually just normal people who have irl obligations, or even other games, that take up the majority of their time. that's fine. slow taggers are also usually pretty honest with you about their time and motivation concerning the threads you're doing.
flakes, on the other hand, are a different story. they're generally selfish because they feel like they don't owe you anything- and it's true, no one owes anyone tags, but this is a group hobby where we all rely on each other to do things in a timely manner. if you say you're going to do something, whether rp or not, it's considered bad form if you never actually do it. leaving people hanging is considered rude in every aspect of life. they also tend to be dishonest. i've found that most flakes will say "omg i'll tag that thread asap i promise i've just been so busy!" when they have no intention of doing it- i've watched a flake i've known literally say that shit to someone on plurk, and then on aim tell me "omfg that person is so fucking annoying why don't they take a hint? if i'm not tagging them I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM."
and it's not just one person i've known like this, a majority of the flaky people i've known have also been dramatic, paranoid (they think everyone is as two-faced to them as they are to other people), childish, rude, selfish, handflappy, self-conscious to the point of needng constant asspatters, and inconsiderate. so when you see someone talking about dropping a flake, i'm willing to bet money that flake had some other personality issues going on, and what they had with each other wasn't a functioning relationship.
Re: ITT: BUTTMAD TAG NAZIS
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)they're not even referring to people who you have a fun, maybe slow thread with, who drop another thread, then pop up again. they're referring to people who constantly app into and drop out of games without enough time to create threads, get established, or do anything but waste mods' and other players' time, who never tag anything, never finish anything, make constant promises they don't keep, hold up important plots, and then constantly whine to plurk about it. they're not ~someone whose tags were good and maybe one thread was fun and while they ended up dropping another thread along the way. there are no good tags or fun threads to be had here because these sorts of people don't give tags OR complete threads. and then cry about it. and then get ointment gently administered by the plurk buttpat machine.
these days i'm not buttmad about flaky people - i have super limited time to play, so i only play with people i know are reliable - but that was only because i cut them all out of my rp circle entirely
Re: ITT: BUTTMAD TAG NAZIS
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)Because without fail every time someone complains about flakes, someone takes it too personally and tries to make it seem like anyone who has ever complained about flakes is an over-invested tag nazi who starts tearing their own hair out over a single dropped thread. AYRT even brought up "cishet scum" JUST to make the complainers look ridiculously unreasonable when chronic flaking is a perfectly reasonable thing to complain about.
The flake defense squad around here is super invested in being ~reasonable and accommodating~, but they don't realize that most DWRPers are pretty chill already when it comes to tags. The vast majority of flake complaints I've seen have been about people who CONSTANTLY drop threads a few comments in/as soon as they're good for AC, people who never ever follow through on plans, or people who have a chronic cycle of apping to a game, squatting for a few months, and dropping so they can app a new shiny somewhere else. Not regular people who get busy or forget a tag every now and then.
No, no one is owed tags, but that doesn't mean you have to keep tagging someone who constantly wastes your time, nor does it make tagging habits a taboo thing to complain about on a community made for complaints. Why oh why are people so invested in defending anonymous flakes? Are they flakes themselves?
+1
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)Are they flakes themselves?
yes, probably. No one is as chill with chronic flakes like us to the point they would whiteknight us so defensively. like you said, most people don't mind slow. it's players who break promises and waste others' time that get scorn, and the only people who seek to defend that behavior are the ones propagating it. I should know, since I used to do the same before I realized what an ass I was being.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2015-03-31 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)