No actually, lack of experience is, in fact an indicator that a person has no skill in that specific action or practice. This is not a detractor, it's a descriptor. It a statement of fact that cannot be danced around with something as presumptuous as "OH WELL I'VE NEVER HAD SEX BUT I CAN TOTALLY WRITE IT."
No. You can't. Because there are little nuances, visual, audible, touching cues you do not know how to look for or even if you SHOULD look for them. Instead of attempting to use that tired-ass excuse of "oh killing isn't something we do but we write that" (btw, killing ain't all that easy either), take it as cooking. If you've never set foot in a kitchen your entire life? Yes, I DO expect you to fuck up rice. Yes, I DO expect you to fuck up pancakes. Yes, I DO expect you not to even be able to make tea. Because that's normal for a person that has zero experience in cooking. And diving nose-first in the nearest cookbook from Wolfgang Puck, Emiril Lagassi, the Iron Chefs, or whoever the hell ELSE you might favor will not suddenly make you competent overnight.
Practice is makes you competent in a skill. Practice cracking eggs, measuring water for rice, mixing batter and understanding when to stop and let the lumps stay, how to marinate, etc etc. Practice in sex leads to, at least for one person, some skill in sex (mileage may vary because some people just don't learn in this world). Constant research in sex means you have a plethora of references you can call to the fore of your mind, but it does not equal practical experience.
Will it help you write a sex scene? Maybe. Will it help you bullshit your way through writing sex? Probably. Should you or anyone else be praised for voluntary or otherwise sexual ignorance? Hell no.
And, really, should this really be an issue taken so damned seriously when the vast majority of people in dwrp land just want to have fun writing about dicks and sweat and satisfied pussies and queefing and toys and before-work/class/teaching quickies and harlequinn and hentai sex?
I can't put my finger on exactly what about this sounds so crazy, so I'm just going to point out that you sound kind of crazy. It's not even because I think you're wrong. You just sound crazy.
No. You can't. Because there are little nuances, visual, audible, touching cues you do not know how to look for or even if you SHOULD look for them.
Bullshit. TBH, you sound like a virgin who imagines sex to be this LIFE CHANGING SPECIAL SHIT.
It's not. There are no little nuances that you suddenly learn after having sex. Yes, I know the sound a particular guy makes when I peg him in the ass hard, but you can't even describe said sound properly, and it changes depending on the person. Hell, some sex positions don't even work with some people, but are perfect with others. Your 'special' cues depend on the other person. Some people twitch if you pinch their ass. Some don't even blink. Some guys love if you brush their nipples. Others turn dead cold and their arousal fades.
There's nothing for a virgin to suddenly learn if she has sex.
it does not equal practical experience.
Sorry, kiddo, but it does. Sex itself is so varied that only the grossest mistakes even matter. Some things that actually work in sex are things you'd likely scream are innacurate virgin beliefs!!1
Practice is makes you competent in a skill.
Yes, practicing sex makes you better at having sex. Having sex with different people means you have more experience with dealing with different people sexually.
It does jack shit for your writing about it. Having sex and writing about sex are completely different skills. In fact, people will usually write about idealized sex because 99.999% of the people prefer it over actually realistic sex.
This means that doing research in what counts as good porn will always make you a better writer, whereas just having sex won't do anything. Whoopdedoo, you realize how getting fucked feels like. Oh, the other woman next door feels something entirely different, and she'll think you're describing it wrong. Oops!
It's just sex. It's not magical. You know everything that matters after 2-3 hardcore porn videos, an afternoon of reading and a night with a vibrator.
anon from the thread below - this is another point I wanted to make, too.
Everybody's body is different. Take a look at something like... I don't know, cervical penetration, or even just bumping up against the cervix during sex. Most women will tell you that hurts like hell... but then there are the handful for whom it actually doesn't hurt that much or even feels sorta good.
The only things in smut writing that I kind of sideeye are gross anatomical errors, like self-lubricating anuses... and even that, well, if it's someone's fetish and they understand it doesn't work that way in real life, why not? Who cares?
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oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 12:56 pm (UTC)(link)No. You can't. Because there are little nuances, visual, audible, touching cues you do not know how to look for or even if you SHOULD look for them. Instead of attempting to use that tired-ass excuse of "oh killing isn't something we do but we write that" (btw, killing ain't all that easy either), take it as cooking. If you've never set foot in a kitchen your entire life? Yes, I DO expect you to fuck up rice. Yes, I DO expect you to fuck up pancakes. Yes, I DO expect you not to even be able to make tea. Because that's normal for a person that has zero experience in cooking. And diving nose-first in the nearest cookbook from Wolfgang Puck, Emiril Lagassi, the Iron Chefs, or whoever the hell ELSE you might favor will not suddenly make you competent overnight.
Practice is makes you competent in a skill. Practice cracking eggs, measuring water for rice, mixing batter and understanding when to stop and let the lumps stay, how to marinate, etc etc. Practice in sex leads to, at least for one person, some skill in sex (mileage may vary because some people just don't learn in this world). Constant research in sex means you have a plethora of references you can call to the fore of your mind, but it does not equal practical experience.
Will it help you write a sex scene? Maybe. Will it help you bullshit your way through writing sex? Probably. Should you or anyone else be praised for voluntary or otherwise sexual ignorance? Hell no.
And, really, should this really be an issue taken so damned seriously when the vast majority of people in dwrp land just want to have fun writing about dicks and sweat and satisfied pussies and queefing and toys and before-work/class/teaching quickies and harlequinn and hentai sex?
I surely hope not.
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)wait
what
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)you're doing life wrong if you don't have someone to have sex with because... because a lack of personal sexual experience is willful ignorance.
what the fuck.
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)going to go make breakfast
but then again, cooking is so hard omg omg how will i ever measure water????
no really tho this thread is going to turn in to a clusterfuck i'm outtie
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)you are also doing life wrong if you don't have babies by 24
how dare you
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)The other anon below you seems to communicate the same message in a way that's more tittybaby-friendly.
Re: oh please.
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)No. You can't. Because there are little nuances, visual, audible, touching cues you do not know how to look for or even if you SHOULD look for them.
Bullshit. TBH, you sound like a virgin who imagines sex to be this LIFE CHANGING SPECIAL SHIT.
It's not. There are no little nuances that you suddenly learn after having sex. Yes, I know the sound a particular guy makes when I peg him in the ass hard, but you can't even describe said sound properly, and it changes depending on the person. Hell, some sex positions don't even work with some people, but are perfect with others. Your 'special' cues depend on the other person. Some people twitch if you pinch their ass. Some don't even blink. Some guys love if you brush their nipples. Others turn dead cold and their arousal fades.
There's nothing for a virgin to suddenly learn if she has sex.
it does not equal practical experience.
Sorry, kiddo, but it does. Sex itself is so varied that only the grossest mistakes even matter. Some things that actually work in sex are things you'd likely scream are innacurate virgin beliefs!!1
Practice is makes you competent in a skill.
Yes, practicing sex makes you better at having sex. Having sex with different people means you have more experience with dealing with different people sexually.
It does jack shit for your writing about it. Having sex and writing about sex are completely different skills. In fact, people will usually write about idealized sex because 99.999% of the people prefer it over actually realistic sex.
This means that doing research in what counts as good porn will always make you a better writer, whereas just having sex won't do anything. Whoopdedoo, you realize how getting fucked feels like. Oh, the other woman next door feels something entirely different, and she'll think you're describing it wrong. Oops!
It's just sex. It's not magical. You know everything that matters after 2-3 hardcore porn videos, an afternoon of reading and a night with a vibrator.
Re: oh please.
+1
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)Everybody's body is different. Take a look at something like... I don't know, cervical penetration, or even just bumping up against the cervix during sex. Most women will tell you that hurts like hell... but then there are the handful for whom it actually doesn't hurt that much or even feels sorta good.
The only things in smut writing that I kind of sideeye are gross anatomical errors, like self-lubricating anuses... and even that, well, if it's someone's fetish and they understand it doesn't work that way in real life, why not? Who cares?