Re: oh please.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 04:59 pm (UTC)(link)

No. You can't. Because there are little nuances, visual, audible, touching cues you do not know how to look for or even if you SHOULD look for them.


Bullshit. TBH, you sound like a virgin who imagines sex to be this LIFE CHANGING SPECIAL SHIT.

It's not. There are no little nuances that you suddenly learn after having sex. Yes, I know the sound a particular guy makes when I peg him in the ass hard, but you can't even describe said sound properly, and it changes depending on the person. Hell, some sex positions don't even work with some people, but are perfect with others. Your 'special' cues depend on the other person. Some people twitch if you pinch their ass. Some don't even blink. Some guys love if you brush their nipples. Others turn dead cold and their arousal fades.

There's nothing for a virgin to suddenly learn if she has sex.

it does not equal practical experience.

Sorry, kiddo, but it does. Sex itself is so varied that only the grossest mistakes even matter. Some things that actually work in sex are things you'd likely scream are innacurate virgin beliefs!!1

Practice is makes you competent in a skill.

Yes, practicing sex makes you better at having sex. Having sex with different people means you have more experience with dealing with different people sexually.

It does jack shit for your writing about it. Having sex and writing about sex are completely different skills. In fact, people will usually write about idealized sex because 99.999% of the people prefer it over actually realistic sex.

This means that doing research in what counts as good porn will always make you a better writer, whereas just having sex won't do anything. Whoopdedoo, you realize how getting fucked feels like. Oh, the other woman next door feels something entirely different, and she'll think you're describing it wrong. Oops!

It's just sex. It's not magical. You know everything that matters after 2-3 hardcore porn videos, an afternoon of reading and a night with a vibrator.

Re: oh please.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
emphasis on the reading unless you want to learn about sex sound effects

+1

(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 05:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Very well said.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-07 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
anon from the thread below - this is another point I wanted to make, too.

Everybody's body is different. Take a look at something like... I don't know, cervical penetration, or even just bumping up against the cervix during sex. Most women will tell you that hurts like hell... but then there are the handful for whom it actually doesn't hurt that much or even feels sorta good.

The only things in smut writing that I kind of sideeye are gross anatomical errors, like self-lubricating anuses... and even that, well, if it's someone's fetish and they understand it doesn't work that way in real life, why not? Who cares?