In my past experiences, yeah they actually do have to be waved around. I've seen people adore players' characterizations up and down and in the same breath either damn or disregard some quirk said players would make toward a muse's sex or sexuality. An above anon mentioned Naoto, who is a very easy target of this. Until some heinous ooc wank went down, Amat's first Naoto was praised for all characterization she displayed. And making the character trans was largely overlooked until, again, some wank went down. And then it became a questionable issue.

You're opting to call the baby ugly preemptively. I'm simply not willing this time around. It's not like I am not willing to accept I'm wrong--I very well could be. But for now it remains to be seen.