for a non-ff14 example, take levi and and erwin from attack on titan, a ship so popular that a lot of people take it as soft canon. you could argue that canon doesn't necessarily deny it, and i'd agree. if they're both on a tdm and doing a thread that seems to imply they'll ship in the game, that's not ignoring canon to do their own thing: it's potentially following a development that makes sense. if they're cuddling in front of the fire planning out how many kids they'll have and what kind of engagement ring levi wants for their five-year dating anniversary uwu, it's an easy rejection. it's not the shipping that's the problem; it's whether the players are playing their characters believably or continuing their own personal fanfic in a game when they could just psl.