kay could be a big reason, tbh. they were my first interaction with f/f back before they transitioned and they effectively bullied me into doing it when i'd said no and with the character i was playing not being into it at all either. i buckled under a lot of pressure when i first got into rp because i didn't know the rules and i'd wandered in here on my own. so my first and only f/f experience was kay ignoring my preferences and playing it out and that's stuck with me.

i don't pick up canon f/f characters so i can avoid having to deal with it, yet you still get people insisting that you can bend the rules so they can get their play of preference. i've even recently been getting tagged by f players with my f character in memes even though i have m/f clearly stated in my preferences. my mind has yet to be changed.