wankgate | The Fifty-Third

I wouldn't call her a flake, more like an aggressive clique-maker. When she's interested by you she's very attentive and good at tagging, but when her interest wanes she ignores your existence and pushes you away even if you've done nothing to offend her. If she isn't intensely invested in your character or canon, you may as well not exist at all.

This. It's not necessarily wanky behavior in the usual sense. She doesn't slander your name everywhere (that I know of) and start shit and shit stir. Honestly, once she's done with you, you might never have existed at all period.

And I guess the people she's abandoned just get over it reasonably fast and don't hold grudges. That's the part that baffles me, because as often as it seems to have happened, you'd think someone would have started a grudge campaign. Even this thread doesn't stink of grudge so much as "enjoy it while it lasts/don't expect too much."

as someone who's been dropped by her, it's very sudden and usually not overt either so by the time you figure out she dropped you like a hot potato, you're already over it

she stops talking to you, end of story

The only time it is overt is if you drop her first. I was feeling isolated and left out and it was doing terrible shit to my mental health, so I tried to distance myself from all that for a little while and when I tried to come back with a healthier mindset, I got the door slammed in my face.

It was partially my own fault for not explaining the situation better, but you can never feel comfortable telling her flat out you're feeling left out, because she'll just make fun of you behind your back for being needy.

yeah, she dropped me pretty hard after an argument she started with me, and hasn't really spoken to me since. i come into a plurk conversation or something and suddenly she's either nowhere to be found or she ignores the hell out of me.

my best friend is one of her current clique, i dread the day that goes south, 'cause they're pretty close. :/

She does that to you too, anon? I had a falling out with her ages ago and she still ignores me like a plague in the plurks of mutual friends.

I feel for your friend. :c Are they really emotionally invested in the friendship? Because being one of Jae's closet biffles is pretty great when she's paying attention, but if you're overly attached to her, it stings like a bitch when she leaves you and I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone.

oh my god honestly, until this thread, I thought I was the ONLY ONE she had done that to, and it's just... so alienating sometimes. Especially given my bff's involvement. :/

Yeah, they're really close, and I'm hoping desperately it goes differently for them even though it makes things awkward for me because I don't want her to hurt. But at the same time, I kinda feel like I wish it would happen sooner rather than later? Like... the sooner it happens, the less it'll sting, hopefully.

/sigh

Anon, you might as well be me. It's incredibly awkward because I try to be respectful of their friendship with Jae (and Jae) for them and I don't see it returned at all.

yeah, exactly, I've even tried to reach out to her and say "I am cool with you, no hard feelings" because honestly, it was a few years ago and it might still sting a bit if I think hard about it, but it was another time in my life. Aaaaand she just continues to pretend I don't exist. :/

It's nice to know I'm not alone, though. I had honestly thought it was just me.

Been dropped by her. HUGELY biased against her/have a huge grudge against her, but I just honestly don't want to spend enough time thinking about the bitch to grudgewank. She thinks she's hot shit just 'cause she's friends with a famous YA author or something, and I no lie wish I could just punch her in her smug, I'm-so-much-better-than-you face.

Fuck her with the broom she flew in on, being dropped by her GUTTED me at the time and I have no intention of forgiving her for it.

NGL. I'm actually relieved other people have suffered like this too. It proves it's a pattern and I wasn't just an anomaly, especially since I was made to feel like I'd done something terribly wrong at the time she dropped me.

Ditto on the relief. I always felt like I must've done something horribly wrong even though SHE picked a fight with ME and me getting upset and angry were what led to her dropping me like a rock. It's kind of comforting to know that it wasn't me, it's a pattern of behavior that she should be trying to grow out of.

I mean, I wish her all the best, I don't necessarily think she's an OMG BAD PERSON, and she's actually a pretty damn good RPer imo, but if she starts feeling pressure from this sort of stuff one day, or finds it hard to make new friends... it's on her. She's the only one who can change this shit.

The Fifty-Third

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