You've basically got a "Don't like it? Don't read it" bullet point right in the premise. Warnings I understand, and players should definitely be told what they're in for, but I think the way it's phrased comes off as defensive, especially when it's followed immediately by the "absolutely no kink-shaming" thing. That latter bit is probably better served in the rules or the FAQ.
By "respect people's boundaries," I don't just mean "no stalking" or "no being creepy." There also needs to be an acknowledgement that not everybody is going to be into the same things you are, even in a game that emphasizes extreme kinks. Someone might be okay with guro but be really uncomfortable with loli/shota.
I see a lot of mention of "don't judge my kinks" but very little mention of making sure you know and respect what makes people uncomfortable. That isn't kink-shaming, that's just respecting your partner. That really needs to be emphasized if you're going to allow extreme kinks, and not just with a vague, hand-wavy "don't be creepy" rule. Explicit communication is very, very, important in this type of game, both from the mods and between players.
Thank you for pointing those out. I didn't read them that way, but to be honest, I've read them so many times in the writing and posting that I don't doubt there are things I missed. I'll go back over the premise and the FAQ to try and make them less defensive sounding. The intent, yeah, was to inform, but it sounds like I may have gone overboard.
And I see what you mean about the boundaries. We'll adjust the rules and FAQ to reflect the communication and respect of limits aspect as well.
This is all really good advice. As someone who has some extreme kinks, I'd like to play in a game like this, but I do think an acknowledgement of communications and respect being important is very, very key.
The rules and premise have been adjusted. Hopefully they sound a bit less defensive and clarify the need for boundaries and communication a little better.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-10-12 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)By "respect people's boundaries," I don't just mean "no stalking" or "no being creepy." There also needs to be an acknowledgement that not everybody is going to be into the same things you are, even in a game that emphasizes extreme kinks. Someone might be okay with guro but be really uncomfortable with loli/shota.
I see a lot of mention of "don't judge my kinks" but very little mention of making sure you know and respect what makes people uncomfortable. That isn't kink-shaming, that's just respecting your partner. That really needs to be emphasized if you're going to allow extreme kinks, and not just with a vague, hand-wavy "don't be creepy" rule. Explicit communication is very, very, important in this type of game, both from the mods and between players.
no subject
And I see what you mean about the boundaries. We'll adjust the rules and FAQ to reflect the communication and respect of limits aspect as well.
Thanks again.
+1
(Anonymous) 2012-10-12 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)no subject