yeah, it's not the experience of surgery that i'm worried about so much as like...you really cannot bind an i cup effectively, or if you can i haven't found the binder that does it, so i have no way to test an unboobified body? and i don't know if just getting a reduction is a good idea for the sole purpose of "bring me down to bindable size so i can then decide if i want them off completely." like it seems if i'm gonna undergo major chest surgery i should be sure of which kind of surgery i want first instead of having to have it twice, lol.

it would probably be easier if i was a binary trans man, because then the answer would presumably be pretty clear, but alas, i am but an enby who's just sort of moving more mascward the older i get. and truly has NO idea how the world is going to react to me in a body without boobs.