The Wank Knight Rises (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wankknight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
wankgate2016-12-15 12:14 am
wankknight) wrote in wankgate2016-12-15 12:14 am
I prefer cross-canon interactions to canon ones.
It's called a grudge, sweetie. Someone can't let go.
Not to take away from your experience, but I kind of call bullshit on a lot of these. I'm not saying that the system is perfect and that horrible foster parents don't exist, but as someone with an older sister dedicates her home to fostering children, she has to jump through so many hoops and bends over backwards for those kids, even if the kid is coming at them with a pickaxe (actually happened to my sister). If any of the shit you mentioned was happening, that shit would be shut down so quickly and those kids would be placed elsewhere. It's not like foster parents go unchecked. They aren't allowed to lay a finger on the children they care for. More often than not, they will ask for help and be refused because children tend to have emotional problems. It's more likely that the kids are making up stories to get what they want than for a foster care provider to be abusive or some shit because that shit would get shut down so fast. Sorry but no.
I'm a mandated reporter and both parents can be junkies and CPS won't do shit as long as one of the parents is not high during the visit. I've seen parents wise to this alternate drug use with one another so that someone was able to be "sober" at any time because we had to call CPS on them so often.
In the few instances where CPS actually does intervene, then that means some serious shit is going down and those kids are better off.
Also, trusting one of the victimized kids to take care of their siblings is a whole 'nother can of worms. A lot of time the abuses that were done to the children will be repeated by older siblings to younger ones because it's learned behavior and sometimes all they know.. That whole thing is such a horrible idea.
In the few instances where CPS actually does intervene, then that means some serious shit is going down and those kids are better off.
Also, trusting one of the victimized kids to take care of their siblings is a whole 'nother can of worms. A lot of time the abuses that were done to the children will be repeated by older siblings to younger ones because it's learned behavior and sometimes all they know.. That whole thing is such a horrible idea.
was she homeless or living in a very dire situation with her mother at some point a year or two ago? I can't tell if I'm remembering the right person.
i was reading through it and reading through the other comments here and i realized that part of it may be the time as well as the place. (and by the by, telling me you're not taking away from it and then calling me a liar is kind of contradicting yourself).
i personally experienced the burning fingers, when i was four.
the grouphome with the basement being flooded constantly was me too. i stayed there from 13-15 until i ran away to san fransico. (i live in canada as well, so that was a bit of an adventure). i told my social worker that i hated that place so much and if he didn't get me out of there, i'd kill the worker or myself. they brushed it off. couldn't brush off me running away to the us.
the last one with the box was also me, when i was five. that home was fucking terrible and one of the more abusive ones i was in for about a year.
of course, you have to keep in mind that the system up here is just terrible. my mom almost killed me twice and kept begging the workers to come take me away because she couldn't handle me. (yes, that makes me sound like a handful, but when 'handling me' consisted of having to be awake during the day after she'd spent all night drinking and doing drugs and i wouldn't stay locked in my room because i was worried about my little sister when i was 3-4, the context makes more sense) she had to invite a worker over and lift my shirt to show off the black and blue marks from the beating she'd given me the day before.
i know my case comes off more hard knock than most, but i grew up around a lot of foster kids and some of them are worse than me as i never got sexually molested in care and they did, and some of them had that happy foster placement i hated them for because it wasn't me. when you're already labeled as a 'problem child', you could tell them the truth and nothing but the truth and they won't believe you.
i don't know if that holds true in the us, but keep in mind i'm mid thirties now, so the care back them when i was in it was a lot more lax and admittedly, things might have tightened up since then. but i still see cases of kids being removed from care because their parents smoked a little pot at a party and dying in care or being seriously harmed. and i'm not surprised by it because of my own bias against the system.
good on your sister for being a worker. i legitimately mean that. not all foster homes are bad and i don't want to imply they are. but you will statistically come across more foster kids that have it hard than ones that have a good home. go check the stats. more foster kids have ptsd than veterans. that's a fact for a reason. the foster system is hard. and when you mix grouphomes and the abuse you can face from other kids in there along with the care workers, it just compounds itself.
sorry, i know i tldr this, but this is one of those legitimate trigger issues for me. any time i hear someone say that there's nothing wrong with the system, i just flash back and it's like no, fuck you. it MAY be a bit better now than it was when i was growing up, but it's really hard for me to just take that at face value.
i personally experienced the burning fingers, when i was four.
the grouphome with the basement being flooded constantly was me too. i stayed there from 13-15 until i ran away to san fransico. (i live in canada as well, so that was a bit of an adventure). i told my social worker that i hated that place so much and if he didn't get me out of there, i'd kill the worker or myself. they brushed it off. couldn't brush off me running away to the us.
the last one with the box was also me, when i was five. that home was fucking terrible and one of the more abusive ones i was in for about a year.
of course, you have to keep in mind that the system up here is just terrible. my mom almost killed me twice and kept begging the workers to come take me away because she couldn't handle me. (yes, that makes me sound like a handful, but when 'handling me' consisted of having to be awake during the day after she'd spent all night drinking and doing drugs and i wouldn't stay locked in my room because i was worried about my little sister when i was 3-4, the context makes more sense) she had to invite a worker over and lift my shirt to show off the black and blue marks from the beating she'd given me the day before.
i know my case comes off more hard knock than most, but i grew up around a lot of foster kids and some of them are worse than me as i never got sexually molested in care and they did, and some of them had that happy foster placement i hated them for because it wasn't me. when you're already labeled as a 'problem child', you could tell them the truth and nothing but the truth and they won't believe you.
i don't know if that holds true in the us, but keep in mind i'm mid thirties now, so the care back them when i was in it was a lot more lax and admittedly, things might have tightened up since then. but i still see cases of kids being removed from care because their parents smoked a little pot at a party and dying in care or being seriously harmed. and i'm not surprised by it because of my own bias against the system.
good on your sister for being a worker. i legitimately mean that. not all foster homes are bad and i don't want to imply they are. but you will statistically come across more foster kids that have it hard than ones that have a good home. go check the stats. more foster kids have ptsd than veterans. that's a fact for a reason. the foster system is hard. and when you mix grouphomes and the abuse you can face from other kids in there along with the care workers, it just compounds itself.
sorry, i know i tldr this, but this is one of those legitimate trigger issues for me. any time i hear someone say that there's nothing wrong with the system, i just flash back and it's like no, fuck you. it MAY be a bit better now than it was when i was growing up, but it's really hard for me to just take that at face value.
yeah that's a lot different. if you're going out and organizing, then that's a legitimate reason to not be as active. but im talking about armchair activists. the people who plurk about how awful politics is, and say they can't do anything else because of that.
Also this part:
there's a 'special' hold built just for the bunnies that's pressurised, temperature regulated, and sound-insulated.
No, they're flown in the cargo hold, just like they would be otherwise. It says so right on the site's FAQ. The cargo hold just happens to be pressurised and temperature regulated, like the cabin. Nowhere on the site does it say it's sound insulated. They don't use 'special holds'. They use regular commercial planes with good regulations/reputations for handling animals. That's all.
there's a 'special' hold built just for the bunnies that's pressurised, temperature regulated, and sound-insulated.
No, they're flown in the cargo hold, just like they would be otherwise. It says so right on the site's FAQ. The cargo hold just happens to be pressurised and temperature regulated, like the cabin. Nowhere on the site does it say it's sound insulated. They don't use 'special holds'. They use regular commercial planes with good regulations/reputations for handling animals. That's all.
no one said there was anything wrong with the system, just that cases like yours aren't the majority
you say that you are in your thirties - that is like a special needs person saying the care facilities for disabled and mentally handicap back in the day is a reflection of the care provided today.
there are a lot of fucked up children in foster care with ptsd, but that statistic doesn't prove much because the abuse that landed them in that care would have left a mark on their life. many of these children have been abused or neglected or sexually abused. there is a reason that a lot of them are difficult to work with and often times are considered emotionally disturbed.
child protective services rarely intervenes and i highly doubt that parents smoking pot gets their children taken away. also, if that shit did happen today those foster parents would lose their license very quickly. i can't speak to thirty years ago but foster kids are not ignored and are usually given counseling every week where they can report anything like that.
you claiming you're going to kill yourself or your worker kind of proves a point in a lot of ways.
you say that you are in your thirties - that is like a special needs person saying the care facilities for disabled and mentally handicap back in the day is a reflection of the care provided today.
there are a lot of fucked up children in foster care with ptsd, but that statistic doesn't prove much because the abuse that landed them in that care would have left a mark on their life. many of these children have been abused or neglected or sexually abused. there is a reason that a lot of them are difficult to work with and often times are considered emotionally disturbed.
child protective services rarely intervenes and i highly doubt that parents smoking pot gets their children taken away. also, if that shit did happen today those foster parents would lose their license very quickly. i can't speak to thirty years ago but foster kids are not ignored and are usually given counseling every week where they can report anything like that.
you claiming you're going to kill yourself or your worker kind of proves a point in a lot of ways.
i can't believe blizzard simultaneously got people's hopes up for widowtracer and then crushed it all in one comic.
i like how they did it by giving her a normal, happy relationship with a woman who doesn't want to kill her.
i was a permanent ward of the court, so i was in and out of foster care from 2-6, then placed as a fully permanent ward until i was an 'adult' (read: 16 and allowed to live on my own in independent living).
as for the pot thing; read about alexandria hill, who was removed from her home because her father admitted to smoking pot after she went to bed and was put in the custody of someone who'd been arrested for selling pot and later died in their care.
like, you have to understand that you're not going to hear about anything but the most dramatic and terrible instances. as i said, there are good homes. i was in one for a little while. but there are also a lot of really bad homes, and i'm a little surprised that you aren't aware of how some 'foster parents' have gotten really good at gaming the system. taking in too many kids with no rooms to put them, putting them in substandard living conditions, abuse and neglect. but when workers come, it's all hunky dory and depending on the ages of the kids, they might not even know there's anything wrong. i certainly never did. i thought that was just how it was. i was a 'bad kid', so bad things were allowed to happen to me.
as for that last bit, i won't claim it was dramatic or overreacting, but keep in mind i was a hormonal teenager who was dealing with living in a basement infested with wolf spiders while i'm highly arachnophobic, dealing with flooded floors every time it rained (and it rains a lot in western canada), slugs coming in and waking up with either a spider or a slug in my room, being locked in the basement and having my clothes/makeup given to me by family taken by the mom and replaced with 'appropriate things' that weren't at all appropriate, nor did they fit (i got in an argument with the mom when she refused to take me bra shopping to get me a bra that fit because there was 'no way that a thirteen year old could have larger breasts than her'). after the bars were taken off the windows because my grandmother called the fire marshal on her, one of the other girls had her bf sneak in who also brought a 'friend' who kept trying to convince the petrified 13-14 year old to loosen up. we had food downstairs that was all bags of chips and bread and weren't allowed to eat with the family. she was also a licensed therapist, so after 2-3 years of living like that, i was lashing out, frustrated, terrified, and fed up. i'd tried to be moved since they'd placed me there and it got to the point where that 'kill her or myself' was a last ditch attempt to get out. it was ignored and i ran away later that week. i'd run away from that home a lot, but i guess making it across the border drove home how serious i was. the next place was an improvement, but not by much.
as for the pot thing; read about alexandria hill, who was removed from her home because her father admitted to smoking pot after she went to bed and was put in the custody of someone who'd been arrested for selling pot and later died in their care.
like, you have to understand that you're not going to hear about anything but the most dramatic and terrible instances. as i said, there are good homes. i was in one for a little while. but there are also a lot of really bad homes, and i'm a little surprised that you aren't aware of how some 'foster parents' have gotten really good at gaming the system. taking in too many kids with no rooms to put them, putting them in substandard living conditions, abuse and neglect. but when workers come, it's all hunky dory and depending on the ages of the kids, they might not even know there's anything wrong. i certainly never did. i thought that was just how it was. i was a 'bad kid', so bad things were allowed to happen to me.
as for that last bit, i won't claim it was dramatic or overreacting, but keep in mind i was a hormonal teenager who was dealing with living in a basement infested with wolf spiders while i'm highly arachnophobic, dealing with flooded floors every time it rained (and it rains a lot in western canada), slugs coming in and waking up with either a spider or a slug in my room, being locked in the basement and having my clothes/makeup given to me by family taken by the mom and replaced with 'appropriate things' that weren't at all appropriate, nor did they fit (i got in an argument with the mom when she refused to take me bra shopping to get me a bra that fit because there was 'no way that a thirteen year old could have larger breasts than her'). after the bars were taken off the windows because my grandmother called the fire marshal on her, one of the other girls had her bf sneak in who also brought a 'friend' who kept trying to convince the petrified 13-14 year old to loosen up. we had food downstairs that was all bags of chips and bread and weren't allowed to eat with the family. she was also a licensed therapist, so after 2-3 years of living like that, i was lashing out, frustrated, terrified, and fed up. i'd tried to be moved since they'd placed me there and it got to the point where that 'kill her or myself' was a last ditch attempt to get out. it was ignored and i ran away later that week. i'd run away from that home a lot, but i guess making it across the border drove home how serious i was. the next place was an improvement, but not by much.
ALSO implied genji/mercy. today is a good day for me.
I'm looking forward to Pharmercy shipper tears.
you're still talking about at least 20 years ago, and pretending it's the same today.
while i have no doubt some fall through the cracks and there are probably still some problem areas, treating these decades old experiences as the central fact of all foster children in the country is a bit disingenuous.
while i have no doubt some fall through the cracks and there are probably still some problem areas, treating these decades old experiences as the central fact of all foster children in the country is a bit disingenuous.
not only that, but apparently the guy with pharah isn't her father, it's another soldier from the comic she was in? gonna go double check on that one, because if it is pharmercy's been shot down harder than an ulting pharah.
If a worker came to investigate the home (which happens regularly) and saw that there were not enough rooms for the children placed into a foster parent's care, that would be handled. Homes are inspected pretty regularly and especially before a child is released into care. They do not simply put children into a foster parents care because "there are too children many in the system."
my own stories are from 20 years ago, yes.
alexandria hill was from 2012.
https://chronicleofsocialchange.org/blogger-co-op/abuse-foster-care-denial-runs-deep/16834
this is not an issue that just goes away because the years pass. i've seen children taken from one parent and put in the foster system because that parent is a single parent with no support and they're 'just helping out'. i've seen parents have their children removed because they're both working full time jobs and ask for a little help from the system (out here, there are programs where you can opt for partial relief care when the parents need a break or when they have no other options for care while working), and that's been a foot in the door to have complaints of inadequate care thrust on these people to remove them. this is all recent. granted, i only have my own experience in canadian system and what i've seen since i've been out, along with friends of friends or stories from others, but the troubling part for me is how inconsistent it is. i've seen kids who are clearly being abused in their home not be removed, yet i've also seen kids who are perfectly happy and healthy be removed for ridiculous reasons. one of the dumbest ones i've heard with my own ears was "the system fucked up raising you and we don't want you to pass any harm onto your child," along with "it's the holidays and you don't have any decorations up. it doesn't matter that you're not religious, that's abusive to your child," and "your child is 2 and you're not being age appropriate with her" (referencing the fact that the child in question was speaking in complete sentences and the parent was asking them what they wanted and talking to them like they were capable of answering back).
the fact that there's such a variation on who gets their children removed and who doesn't and what 'abuse' is is part of the problem. go google children dying in foster care. one is too many, imo. there are way more than one. and this isn't from 20 years ago.
alexandria hill was from 2012.
https://chronicleofsocialchange.org/blogger-co-op/abuse-foster-care-denial-runs-deep/16834
this is not an issue that just goes away because the years pass. i've seen children taken from one parent and put in the foster system because that parent is a single parent with no support and they're 'just helping out'. i've seen parents have their children removed because they're both working full time jobs and ask for a little help from the system (out here, there are programs where you can opt for partial relief care when the parents need a break or when they have no other options for care while working), and that's been a foot in the door to have complaints of inadequate care thrust on these people to remove them. this is all recent. granted, i only have my own experience in canadian system and what i've seen since i've been out, along with friends of friends or stories from others, but the troubling part for me is how inconsistent it is. i've seen kids who are clearly being abused in their home not be removed, yet i've also seen kids who are perfectly happy and healthy be removed for ridiculous reasons. one of the dumbest ones i've heard with my own ears was "the system fucked up raising you and we don't want you to pass any harm onto your child," along with "it's the holidays and you don't have any decorations up. it doesn't matter that you're not religious, that's abusive to your child," and "your child is 2 and you're not being age appropriate with her" (referencing the fact that the child in question was speaking in complete sentences and the parent was asking them what they wanted and talking to them like they were capable of answering back).
the fact that there's such a variation on who gets their children removed and who doesn't and what 'abuse' is is part of the problem. go google children dying in foster care. one is too many, imo. there are way more than one. and this isn't from 20 years ago.
Supernatural
I even like the angels and demons stuff. But the fandom is horrible and takes this campy show waaay too fucking serious. Then there's the people who scoff at you for liking anything after season five for the same reason.
I even like the angels and demons stuff. But the fandom is horrible and takes this campy show waaay too fucking serious. Then there's the people who scoff at you for liking anything after season five for the same reason.
So, in your estimation, assisting an older sibling who comes from a home where CPS saw fit to remove the children so that they can care for their siblings with no strategy going forward/long-term is a good idea?
I don't understand your stake in the original claim. You seem to think foster care is the worst possible outcome when (while not ideal) it's probably the best thing for these kids.
I don't understand your stake in the original claim. You seem to think foster care is the worst possible outcome when (while not ideal) it's probably the best thing for these kids.
i da'd from the top there and i don't actually have anything to say about this particular case as i have no idea what's going on and have no facts other than a few things spattered here that aren't really facts. op didn't post much, i haven't seen the plurk in question, and i don't know the parties involved.
i'm not even saying that foster care is the worst thing ever. i said there were good homes. i even said that i thought it was good one of the anons replying to me had a sister who was into foster care and who gave a shit. the world needs more people that give a shit about the kids they're looking after. there ARE good homes, and there are definitely kids that need that option. but there are also shitty homes/people and there are also kids that are removed without cause.
in this specific instance, it seems fishy. kids can lie and say things just for attention or because they've been coached, but investigations need to be done. i'd hate to see it written off as a lie when it's not, but i'd hate to see them acting on a lie like it's fact without checking. i'd just like to see a more even system across the board. more kids need to know their rights so when they're being broken, they're aware of it (a lot are not).
it might well be the best thing for these kids, but i admit i went off on a whole different tangent and won't say yes or no either way without more to go on.
i'm not even saying that foster care is the worst thing ever. i said there were good homes. i even said that i thought it was good one of the anons replying to me had a sister who was into foster care and who gave a shit. the world needs more people that give a shit about the kids they're looking after. there ARE good homes, and there are definitely kids that need that option. but there are also shitty homes/people and there are also kids that are removed without cause.
in this specific instance, it seems fishy. kids can lie and say things just for attention or because they've been coached, but investigations need to be done. i'd hate to see it written off as a lie when it's not, but i'd hate to see them acting on a lie like it's fact without checking. i'd just like to see a more even system across the board. more kids need to know their rights so when they're being broken, they're aware of it (a lot are not).
it might well be the best thing for these kids, but i admit i went off on a whole different tangent and won't say yes or no either way without more to go on.
and if the reddit reaction to those panels is any indication they're just going to be in denial over it. lots of "THAT ISN'T THE SAME FEATHER" "IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING THEY'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS" "MERCY WOULDN'T JEOPARDIZE HER CAREER BY HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PATIENT" (wtf he was her patient over 20 years ago) "THAT'S PHARAH'S FATHER" (i mean it could be but he looks kind of young compared to ana?)
i'm not even saying that foster care is the worst thing ever. i said there were good homes.
yes, but you talked about them like they were rare unicorns in a sea of shit.
yes, but you talked about them like they were rare unicorns in a sea of shit.
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