wankgate | 240: i own the nfts to all your icons

Presumably because they want to become a parent, period, and they can't just sit around hoping terminal late stage capitalism magically cures itself.

cmon anon this thread was already frozen once

if someone wants to become a parent so bad in this stage then they should fucking adopt or foster the thousands who don't have families, the latter at least provides some government support. if those options are too expensive, how can anyone expect to afford the cost of an american hospital bill on top of clothes, childcare, food, and other emergency expenses?

i know we live in pretends funtime land but wishes and rainbows won't actually help to support a tiny human just because you "want to be a parent" for obviously selfish reasons.

sa "one of the thousands" i don't suggest anyone to actually adopt or foster thousands of kids.

"but adoption's hard and expensive too!!"

ok, then dont have a kid. its not like it gets any easier or less expensive

we've already had this conversation and "i want to be a mommy" isn't the greatest reason to bring a kid into your home, whether it's made from you or not

I'm not a mom and I never plan to be, but I live with my sibling and their spouse and watching them rack up bills for the hospital during the pregnancy, milk formula, diapers, regular check-ups, vaccinations, etc during covid just tells me you'll be spending a lot for that kid. Not to mention the many sleepless nights, frustrations at dealing with tantrums, losing free time, etc.

Like I love the kid, and they definitely do too, but the sacrifice is a lot.

jfc i can't imagine why anyone would want to go through this after seeing how many parents struggled during the formula shortage because the government clearly doesn't give a flying fuck about babies after they're born.

right like we judge the shit out of people who take in pets they can't afford and then e-beg for their expenses. this is a million times worse because you can't go to work and leave a baby to care for itself while you're gone, you have to be prepared for that if you're planning to raise as a responsible single parent. what the fuck is she thinking beyond a stupid gender reveal stunt?

Serious question, what do you think is a good reason to have a kid if not wanting to be a parent? I sure don’t want people who don’t want to be parents having kids.

anything that is not "i want to have the status of 'parent'"

being able to call yourself a milf/dilf isn’t a good enough reason?

having the financial stability and support that's required to raise a kid, for one thing. if you're scrambling to cover the cost it takes just to try and get pregnant, how are you going to support it once it's actually born by yourself? how long is it going to take before you start throwing up gofundmes to guilt trip the internet to cover your child's costs for you?

stupid gender reveal ideas also aren't a good reason.

I agree that being stable is a good prerequisite for becoming a parent. I don’t agree that “wanting to be a parent” is a bad reason to become a parent because I don’t know under what circumstances that would not be true but being a parent would be a good thing.

because "i want to be a parent" is often used to say "i want a child who will depend on and love me" rather than "i want to raise a child into a good adult and make the world a better place for it"

anyone whos ever had dysfunctional neglectful parents can tell you that wanting to be a mom (or dad) because it looks cute and fun is not even in the same galaxy as understanding the necessary sacrifices to raise a well-adjusted human who won't hate you as soon as they're old enough to feel things about more than cereal and cartoons. if someone's not worried about their future budget with a kid, they're pretty obviously not thinking about that kid's long-term well-being

my mom basically had kids because she assumed having children means they're guaranteed to love you and put up with all of your bullshit and then was shocked when we had thoughts and feelings of our own that did not align with cancelling our entire adult lives to live next door to her because that's how people lived when she was growing up.

the expense and sacrifice doesn't even include if your children are born with special needs. my friend has a special needs child and the amount of extra financial hoops not to mention social/societal hoops she has to jump through for her kid is more than you could imagine. anyone who says "i just want to be a parent" without a solid game plan for the next twenty years is setting themselves and their kid up for failure and that's not right.

i'd like to flip the script and ask anon what isn't a good reason to adopt/foster if someone wants to be a parent so bad.

if the answer is "it's too expensive" like it is in this case, then you can't afford to have a baby, period. otherwise, it's selfish to bring another child into this shitty world simply because you want it to be "yours" and no one else's. in that case your ulterior motive whether you realize it or not isn't to actually raise a child, you just want to own one.

because the worst people that insist on being parents can do it 'on their own' without needing to be checked in on by cps or regulatory agencies that most foster/adoptive parents need to go through. they're flimsy checks, but checks nonetheless. poor alice mctrailertrash can pop out eight kids, but she couldn't foster/adopt any because her living conditions suck.

the people that are too broke to afford ivf or baby costs can't afford adoption and the adoption centers would call them out on it.

(frozen comment) Re: +1000

(Anonymous) - 2022-05-26 07:41 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) da

(Anonymous) - 2022-05-26 15:17 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) Re: da

(Anonymous) - 2022-05-26 15:34 (UTC) - Expand

if wanting to be a parent is the only reason despite being constantly broke, then it's not a good reason. this is esp the case if your plan is to raise it alone.

tbh this is no better than those dumb bitches who claim "god will provide for the child" when it's clear the parent can't.

A good reason to have a kid is your willingness and readiness to do what it takes to raise that kid properly, in my opinion. I personally think that those would more likely motivate one to find better ways to raise their finances to take care of a child and give them the best life they can. If they just want to have a kid, they won't necessarily take care of them properly, especially if the child doesn't meet their expectations.

E-begging already tells me that if they ever have the child, they'll make the kid suffer in the future because they'll teach them poor planning, learned helplessness and inability to rely on their parents for anything. Hell, they might even turn that attitude towards the kid and make the child be their caretaker instead.

I have a question related to this!

A while back, I tried to make the argument that people should adopt instead of spending all this money on medical procedures and therapies, and something about the way I wrote it triggered angry adoptee anons who thought I was telling people "adopt, don't shop" like you would for an animal. I wanted to know more then but thought I crossed a boundary I didn't know existed and kept my mouth shut for the rest of the thread.

But now that we're talking about this again, genuinely, is there a compelling argument in favor of IVF? I don't understand why anyone would look past all the parentless children in the world and dig their heels in about needing a baby to be "their own". I'm sure there's a reasonable debate that I just don't know about yet.

vanity, mostly

having your own child is heavily glamourized in most western cultures while adoption is heavily stigmatized in others

ivh is a treatment for infertility and I think people deserve to exert autonomy over their body with regards to reproduction

adoptees don't exist to be a bandaid for the mental trauma and anguish caused by infertility

organic home-grown children also dont exist to be a bandaid for mental trauma and anguish caused by infertility

okay, so if they're single, what are their plans for taking care of this hypothetical child? do they have any concept of just how EXHAUSTING children are even when you have a dedicated partner helping out? i have two friends who have had babies in the past year, both of whom have spouses who have been helping out with baby duty, and even then it's still extremely exhausting and stressful to be trying to take care of a brand new human being who can't do anything on its own yet and can't express itself any way other than crying. how do they plan to do this all on their own?

240: i own the nfts to all your icons

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) +1

(frozen comment) +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) da

(frozen comment) +1000

(frozen comment) +1000

(frozen comment) +1000

(frozen comment) Re: +1000

(frozen comment) Re: +1000

(frozen comment) da

(frozen comment) Re: da

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: +1

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES

(frozen comment) Re: PLURK PET PEEVES