wankgate | 128

How do you feel about Plurk friending policies, WG? Do you side-eye? Think they're a good idea? Think they're only for obnoxious, elitist twats? Use one yourself, or have friends that do? I notice they're starting to trend again and was wondering how you guys felt about them.

...yeah, and I won't lie, I was considering one, since I've gotten more than a few butthurt PPs over removing people and I was wondering if being more upfront about expectations from the start would help.

this has been brought up before actually

i think they're a good thing and more people should have them

not everyone can click with everyone else and it's good to have a heads-up if someone plurks a lot about a subject that i'd rather not hear about on a consistent basis

but tbh i see them as the same as the friending posts we had back on lj. people rarely got butthurt about those but for some reason plurk friending policies can really torch some tushes

i feel like they're unnecessarily egotistical. you're totally right that not everyone will jive but putting a "disclaimer" on your plurk and expecting people to read a tl;dr friending policy is... a little ridiculous, don't you think? why not just friend people and, gasp, defriend or even just unfollow them if you end up not liking them. it's not the end of the world.

because then they get butthurt like op mentioned and demand explanations for being removed out of the blue (i'm not a fan of unfollowing) and the really nasty ones head here to take a big contextless dump all over you and just cause a bunch of hassle

not EVERYONE does this obviously but as someone who's also dealt with this i can empathize with wanting to nip in the bud before it happens

I don't really see how "PM before you add me!" or "Have some info in your profile so I know who you are and where you came from." are tl;dr or unreasonable requests. Most people I know with friending policies don't have five pages worth of qualifications, just a note to PM before adding or a statement that they only friend people who have been in games with them or etc.

it's not the end of the world, but it removes a lot of the mystery of adding people with locked timelines, and gives people a chance to let each other know what they're about before getting to other stuff. imo, it's nice to be able to make an informed decision, and if they list fandoms and such, even better. it's almost like an ice-breaker

and no, i don't think it's ridiculous at all. rarely are they very long, and spending two minutes reading something is just two minutes spent reading something. in fact, i'm not sure why you think it's egotistical or that it places an unnecessary burden on the other person. can you explain that?

i think they're a good idea. better to get the chafed butts out of the way now than deal with them later.

what exactly is a friending policy? i haven't heard of them before.

friending policies are pretty much the same as friending posts people had back in the old lj days.

are there certain topics you don't want to hear or see? don't like someone plurking every five minutes? do you prefer people ask before they try to friend you? will you remove someone without warning if they have content you don't like? do you plurk a lot about fandoms you like or personal subjects?

it's basically giving people a head's up about what you're okay with seeing on your friendlist and what you aren't and what you may post on your own plurk. being upfront with it all in advance instead of later.

I've never seen or heard of this, either. Where are people putting these?

keep it concise and frank, you're here for X, Y, Z, not A, B, C, no hard feelings if others have different purposes

this allows the benefits of upfront and default communication without anyone needing to take more initiative than glancing at your profile, but doesn't make it look like you think so highly of yourself that everyone's going to jump through a bunch of hoops and minutiae to hang out with you

I don't mind them. Someone's plurk is their plurk and they can talk to who they wanna talk to. I might be mildly hurt and confused if someone I shared a game with, especially someone I talked to plotted with regularly, removed me with no warning. But again, ultimately it's still their plurk. And I honestly don't care when people who I no longer share a game/fandom with or have anything in common with and no longer talk to remove me.

I don't have a friending policy myself because I'm very chill and laidback and few things bother me, and the people who do bother me, I just unfollow unless they're really toxic and not just annoying. (And I don't think a "no toxic people" friending policy would work because of course toxic people never think they are toxic.) But I have friends who have them, from lose ones like "share a game with me" to more stringent ones, so I think it's just whatever works for you and makes you feel comfortable using plurk.

I think they're dumb. Adding you on plurk is someone asking to add you, as long as they're willing to take the karma hit if you say no. Don't make it more of a multi-step ordeal than it needs to be. Most players are mildly uncomfortable about approaching people they don't know well.

"Most players" are squealing tittybabies who need to get the fuck over themselves, then.

I don't have one myself, it seems frivolous, but I don't really care if other people want one. And if anyone asked I'd tell them what I plurk about the most.

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