as a non-flake, there's a difference between 'you didn't tag me that one time you shitlord' and 'every time i've tried to play a thread with you, you drop it 3-5 tags in'.
i don't mind having threads dropped on me, especially if they're boring, but if they're just getting started or they're in the middle of something good? don't do that. not consistently. and then tell me 'no, i love tagging you, let's do another thread', because you're just going to drop it 3-5 comments in. it doesn't make you a bad person, but it makes you a bad rper, and more likely one of those ones that would rather talk about all the rp things than actually play them out.
a few dropped threads here and there is not really flake. someone who constantly drops shit and can't follow through on anything, is.
and what if i do have a tendency to drop threads, but they're like 15 or 20 comments in and i tell you i plan on tagging back because i do want to tag you back but then i don't because i can't find the spark again?
i'll admit it, i am guilty of flaking out on more than my fair share of threads. normally not just 3-5 comments in, but more often than not like say around the middle of the thread, and (though i'll never admit it unaon) especially if it's a prose-heavy thread. it's not that i enjoy brackets over prose, because i really am the kind of rper that enjoys both equally, but prose does tend to take more out of me i find. i'd say in 3 of every 5 prose scenes i do, midway throughabouts i'll get a monster of a tag or maybe not even a monster but just one that leaves me staring blankly. and then i go to tag it and nothing comes
i would really love to just explain this to people but i mean... just listen to it. it sounds like i'm a secret ecats wannabe or something. and prose players are often a little on the elitist side to begin with so telling them that feels even more lame. at least with a trashy sws player there's no pressure from the start
like i said, i really am just here for fun. and the thing is, i really would like to tag back all my dropped threads, because with a rare few exceptions i really was enjoying all of them. my tag inbox has currently got 303 tags, maybe 10 or 20 from this month and all the rest older, some going back to 2012. and i keep telling myself that one day i'm gonna tag them, but i know i'm almost certainly not
sorry for the word vomit, just this post unexpectedly touched on a button and since i'm one of those rpers that doesn't want a plurk and tries to minimize ooc contact i don't really have anybody to talk about this stuff with
i would have zero problem with you for dropping a thread 15-20 comments in, or hell, just enough comments in for me to use for ac if you'd just meet me halfway and talk out some handwaving so i can move the fuck on with my character. i don't want to hear this "no, no, i'll tag you back!" bullshit every time only for you to let it go because the spark's gone. when i say i want to handwave the ending so i know my character's thoughts going into the next day, next event, next interaction with your character, or whatever, just agree to that and i'll be sure to pursue additional cr with you. leave me hanging and i'll drop you like a hot potato. you want to have fun? so do i. chasing you down to resolve threads and getting no where is not fun.
see this is actually why i don't play in games anymore, i realized around like 2012-2013 i was way too unreliable to be in one and have been memeing it up ever since. so you can at least rest easy knowing i'm not the one flaking on you. ~this time
in the spirit of fairness i do think flaking out on game threads is a whole lot worse than flaking out on memes and players who get mad at flaky castmates have got grievances i can actually wrap my brain around, as opposed to players who get buttfurious over dropped memes
my philosophy on it is that if you're a flake and know it, you kind of have a responsibility to at least minimize the fallout damage of your flakiness. for me, i do this largely by sticking to memes. in a game, fuck, idk how you'd even go about it anymore
if you can't find that "spark" again then you don't want to tag those threads back as much as you say you do. i get losing interest sometimes but if i think the thread is worth keeping at, i keep tagging. eventually, it always picks back up and i'm glad i didn't drop it.
if you keep dropping things and don't ever finish them, you're in the wrong hobby. in a social hobby, it's not just about your fun, you know.
i really do think rpers like you are the reason plots can never get played out, whether it be in games or psls. and how "talking about rp instead of rping" became a thing. anons want to act like the anons bitching about flakes are being selfish but what you're saying is pretty selfish, too. that it's all about your fun and other people wanting to finish shit with you don't matter because your attention span is that of a goldfish.
yeah, no shit. despite what you may think i'm really not one of those that master kind of people who is in it just for my own pleasure, or at least not anymore than anyone else is. if i didn't give a shit it'd actually be a whole lot easier because then i could just write all those dropped threads off
i'm half of the problem, but people like you are definitely the other half. sure, you might be able to tag back consistently but you're so tightly wound that the moment anyone doesn't live up to your understands, that's it, they can get the fuck out, you've got no more use for them. people like you are largely the reason why i keep my ooc communication to a minimum these days.
it's not just about your fun either. and honestly, i wish people like you would be upfront about how tightly wound you are so i could just avoid you altogether. i'm not gonna be a total dick and say something totally dickish like 'you're in the wrong hobby' but our tagging styles, and more importantly, attitudes just don't mesh, i'd really rather just stick with people like chill!anon above and let the seething cauldrons of type a perfection like you play with the rare few who do manage to meet your standards, because i sure as hell won't
...wanting to finish threads makes you a tightly wound seething type a perfectionist now?
i mean, kudos to you for knowing your limits, that's cool, but i wish slower players/thread droppers/etc would keep phrasing things like people who prefer consistently finished threads are all stomping their feet and screaming for tags, busting veins in their foreheads every time someone drops a thread.
i'll respect your tagging preferences if you respect mine and stop trying to make me look like a bratty child.
you know, someone who's going to tell you you're not just a shitty rper but a shitty human being and need to gtfo out of this hobby just because you dropped a thread on them
maybe they meant something else, but that's my $0.02
that shit gets so old. wanting people to have follow through or just communicate when they can't/won't doesn't equal seething rage. not wanting to give someone chance 101 to drop shit they get you excited about tagging doesn't make you some unreasonable asshole. because let's be real. people almost never get dropped for one instance of flaking. or even three or five. it's when it's a consistent pattern over and over again.
avoiding ooc communication rather than actually saying "hey, not feeling this anymore, can we drop/handwave" is exactly the kind of crap that annoys people. annoys, not enrages. nobody enjoys being left hanging. i would much rather somebody just be up front with me than the endless cycle of oooh, so excited! drop within 3-5 tags with zero communication. repeat ad nauseum.
to this particular person's credit they avoid games where plotting and affecting way more than one person is possible with this lack of follow through.
but even in memes why does "i want things i play to go somewhere" = "i am a perfectionist angry asshole when your play style and mine don't match and i turn you down the next time you approach me?" would you honestly they rather feign excitement to your face, let you write up a starter and then flake on you instead? because hey, if that's what the cool flakes are into today, i'll be glad to say go for it and leave you hanging. it'll be interesting to see how many times i can do that before the flakes stop tagging me in "seething rage" of their own.
well, for starters, let's just say kudos to you for realizing that you're not really capable of playing consistently in a game. i think a lot of trouble i personally have with flakes is this constant desire to have to play in games and have to take a spot that they're not actually doing anything with. i get it. they want to be part of all the fun to. but they're also really dimming the fun for other people when it's effectively like we don't really have X in the game since no one can get a full thread out of them.
as for the rest of it, i guess what i would suggest, if you're open to suggestions, is not holding yourself up to having to give out monster tags all the time. prose doesn't mean 5 paragraphs. it's a writing style. i write in both prose and brackets and honestly, i prefer prose. but even with a prose thread, me and my partner can boomerang short tags back and forth. why? because it's at least progressing the thread and moving it past whatever point it is that you particularly might have a problem with. if you love your prose tags but that one is just too big to get back to and it's the sheer volume that's holding you up, fire back a short reply. firstly, hey, at least it's something. secondly, it can help get you past that point that's making you stick. you can find that 'spark' and maybe get back into that groove you were in before.
maybe not, but tbh, i'd rather someone shoot me back a shitty one-two liner tag to try to move the thread along than consistently drop on me.
first off: shit yeah, i'm open to suggestions, or at least suggestions that aren't something along the lines of 'you're a shit person and need to find a different hobby' for daring to commit the cardinal sin of dropping a couple tags. anyway. yeah, like i said, i think there's a different standard for game tags vs. meme tags (really, there has to be) and it eludes me why anyone would want to be in a game if they know they've got any problems with flakiness. having spent the past three years mostly getting my cr fix from memes and psls, they're really not all that bad and i've met some great players in them. they don't provide quite the cohesion a game does, but idg the all-important 'must be in a game!' drive from, say, someone like brotherhoodeirk who knows on some level they've got problems with measuring up. it's not just men that have to know their limitations, you know?
thinking about it, i think a big part of my problem personally is that i have this almost compulsive need to give my rp partners back whatever they give me. like, no lie, how i actually tag back is to c/p the last response i get, paste it in notepad, then write a reply back that's of as close to an exact comparative length as i can imagine. sometimes this works really great and sometimes it... well, doesn't
i'm actually really glad you sounded off here because i've long been of the mindset that a shitty tagback is just a bad, if not worse, than no tag at all. no one wants to give five paragraphs of taggery and then get two or three fucking sentences. but if the type a players like you really would rather get any tag back, even a poor one of that standard, than no tag at all, i suppose that is definitely something to keep in mind in the future. also, to anyone else reading this thread, feel free to chime in with your thoughts on that, because i really would like to know now if that's a popular attitude, that even shitty tags back are better than none, or if it's better to drop a scene if one or the other people in it is so drained that they can't even manage a full paragraph
i think the problem you're having here is equating size to quality. if someone gives you a five paragraph tag, honestly? as long as you respond to the important parts, it's not a shitty tag. it's the ones that reply to a large tag with 'oh' [blinks] and then gives the other party nothing to go on that classify as a shitty tag. a shitty tag is just a bare-bones response with nothing to go off of. if you reply in a way that your partner can respond back without having to drag the thread along all on their own, i don't really think of that as a shitty tag.
tag lengths vary. in the course of at thread, prose OR brackets, i could have a reply be four paragraphs, then two, then three, then half of one, then a bunch of short little one-two liners, then a sudden five paragraph blurb. that's just the natural ebb and flow of a conversation. you're not always going to give back the exact word count to a conversation partner as they give you, nor are they going to do that same.
i think if you can work on looking past that 'must give back what i get' sort of feeling, you might find that the idea of tagging for a while doesn't seem like such a mountain. i hope that helps you and i hope you find a way that makes it more fun for you and helps you enjoy your playing. maybe if you can get to that point where you're not so concerned about tag length as much as what's actually IN the tag, you might feel up to joining a game yourself.
as long as you're not just giving me dead end tags, idgaf whether everything you write is a timeless masterwork or not. just play with me. that's why we're here.
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wankgate2015-03-23 07:32 pm
da
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 03:31 am (UTC)(link)i don't mind having threads dropped on me, especially if they're boring, but if they're just getting started or they're in the middle of something good? don't do that. not consistently. and then tell me 'no, i love tagging you, let's do another thread', because you're just going to drop it 3-5 comments in. it doesn't make you a bad person, but it makes you a bad rper, and more likely one of those ones that would rather talk about all the rp things than actually play them out.
a few dropped threads here and there is not really flake. someone who constantly drops shit and can't follow through on anything, is.
ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 03:46 am (UTC)(link)i'll admit it, i am guilty of flaking out on more than my fair share of threads. normally not just 3-5 comments in, but more often than not like say around the middle of the thread, and (though i'll never admit it unaon) especially if it's a prose-heavy thread. it's not that i enjoy brackets over prose, because i really am the kind of rper that enjoys both equally, but prose does tend to take more out of me i find. i'd say in 3 of every 5 prose scenes i do, midway throughabouts i'll get a monster of a tag or maybe not even a monster but just one that leaves me staring blankly. and then i go to tag it and nothing comes
i would really love to just explain this to people but i mean... just listen to it. it sounds like i'm a secret ecats wannabe or something. and prose players are often a little on the elitist side to begin with so telling them that feels even more lame. at least with a trashy sws player there's no pressure from the start
like i said, i really am just here for fun. and the thing is, i really would like to tag back all my dropped threads, because with a rare few exceptions i really was enjoying all of them. my tag inbox has currently got 303 tags, maybe 10 or 20 from this month and all the rest older, some going back to 2012. and i keep telling myself that one day i'm gonna tag them, but i know i'm almost certainly not
sorry for the word vomit, just this post unexpectedly touched on a button and since i'm one of those rpers that doesn't want a plurk and tries to minimize ooc contact i don't really have anybody to talk about this stuff with
dda
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:03 am (UTC)(link)ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:08 am (UTC)(link)in the spirit of fairness i do think flaking out on game threads is a whole lot worse than flaking out on memes and players who get mad at flaky castmates have got grievances i can actually wrap my brain around, as opposed to players who get buttfurious over dropped memes
my philosophy on it is that if you're a flake and know it, you kind of have a responsibility to at least minimize the fallout damage of your flakiness. for me, i do this largely by sticking to memes. in a game, fuck, idk how you'd even go about it anymore
da
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:13 am (UTC)(link)if you keep dropping things and don't ever finish them, you're in the wrong hobby. in a social hobby, it's not just about your fun, you know.
i really do think rpers like you are the reason plots can never get played out, whether it be in games or psls. and how "talking about rp instead of rping" became a thing. anons want to act like the anons bitching about flakes are being selfish but what you're saying is pretty selfish, too. that it's all about your fun and other people wanting to finish shit with you don't matter because your attention span is that of a goldfish.
Re: da
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:18 am (UTC)(link)i'm half of the problem, but people like you are definitely the other half. sure, you might be able to tag back consistently but you're so tightly wound that the moment anyone doesn't live up to your understands, that's it, they can get the fuck out, you've got no more use for them. people like you are largely the reason why i keep my ooc communication to a minimum these days.
it's not just about your fun either. and honestly, i wish people like you would be upfront about how tightly wound you are so i could just avoid you altogether. i'm not gonna be a total dick and say something totally dickish like 'you're in the wrong hobby' but our tagging styles, and more importantly, attitudes just don't mesh, i'd really rather just stick with people like chill!anon above and let the seething cauldrons of type a perfection like you play with the rare few who do manage to meet your standards, because i sure as hell won't
dda
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)i mean, kudos to you for knowing your limits, that's cool, but i wish slower players/thread droppers/etc would keep phrasing things like people who prefer consistently finished threads are all stomping their feet and screaming for tags, busting veins in their foreheads every time someone drops a thread.
i'll respect your tagging preferences if you respect mine and stop trying to make me look like a bratty child.
sa
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)Re: dda
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 05:15 pm (UTC)(link)http://wankgate.dreamwidth.org/36274.html?thread=138965938#cmt138965938
you know, someone who's going to tell you you're not just a shitty rper but a shitty human being and need to gtfo out of this hobby just because you dropped a thread on them
maybe they meant something else, but that's my $0.02
+1
(Anonymous) 2015-03-29 08:48 am (UTC)(link)avoiding ooc communication rather than actually saying "hey, not feeling this anymore, can we drop/handwave" is exactly the kind of crap that annoys people. annoys, not enrages. nobody enjoys being left hanging. i would much rather somebody just be up front with me than the endless cycle of oooh, so excited! drop within 3-5 tags with zero communication. repeat ad nauseum.
to this particular person's credit they avoid games where plotting and affecting way more than one person is possible with this lack of follow through.
but even in memes why does "i want things i play to go somewhere" = "i am a perfectionist angry asshole when your play style and mine don't match and i turn you down the next time you approach me?" would you honestly they rather feign excitement to your face, let you write up a starter and then flake on you instead? because hey, if that's what the cool flakes are into today, i'll be glad to say go for it and leave you hanging. it'll be interesting to see how many times i can do that before the flakes stop tagging me in "seething rage" of their own.
ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:33 am (UTC)(link)as for the rest of it, i guess what i would suggest, if you're open to suggestions, is not holding yourself up to having to give out monster tags all the time. prose doesn't mean 5 paragraphs. it's a writing style. i write in both prose and brackets and honestly, i prefer prose. but even with a prose thread, me and my partner can boomerang short tags back and forth. why? because it's at least progressing the thread and moving it past whatever point it is that you particularly might have a problem with. if you love your prose tags but that one is just too big to get back to and it's the sheer volume that's holding you up, fire back a short reply. firstly, hey, at least it's something. secondly, it can help get you past that point that's making you stick. you can find that 'spark' and maybe get back into that groove you were in before.
maybe not, but tbh, i'd rather someone shoot me back a shitty one-two liner tag to try to move the thread along than consistently drop on me.
Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 04:46 am (UTC)(link)thinking about it, i think a big part of my problem personally is that i have this almost compulsive need to give my rp partners back whatever they give me. like, no lie, how i actually tag back is to c/p the last response i get, paste it in notepad, then write a reply back that's of as close to an exact comparative length as i can imagine. sometimes this works really great and sometimes it... well, doesn't
i'm actually really glad you sounded off here because i've long been of the mindset that a shitty tagback is just a bad, if not worse, than no tag at all. no one wants to give five paragraphs of taggery and then get two or three fucking sentences. but if the type a players like you really would rather get any tag back, even a poor one of that standard, than no tag at all, i suppose that is definitely something to keep in mind in the future. also, to anyone else reading this thread, feel free to chime in with your thoughts on that, because i really would like to know now if that's a popular attitude, that even shitty tags back are better than none, or if it's better to drop a scene if one or the other people in it is so drained that they can't even manage a full paragraph
ayrt
tag lengths vary. in the course of at thread, prose OR brackets, i could have a reply be four paragraphs, then two, then three, then half of one, then a bunch of short little one-two liners, then a sudden five paragraph blurb. that's just the natural ebb and flow of a conversation. you're not always going to give back the exact word count to a conversation partner as they give you, nor are they going to do that same.
i think if you can work on looking past that 'must give back what i get' sort of feeling, you might find that the idea of tagging for a while doesn't seem like such a mountain. i hope that helps you and i hope you find a way that makes it more fun for you and helps you enjoy your playing. maybe if you can get to that point where you're not so concerned about tag length as much as what's actually IN the tag, you might feel up to joining a game yourself.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 05:09 am (UTC)(link)+1
(Anonymous) 2015-03-26 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)