wankgate | 134: reading comprehension optional

someone from rp or someone irl.

I'll go first:

I once told a teacher that was scolding me, "I'm sorry you feel that way"

> I once told a teacher that was scolding me, "I'm sorry you feel that way"

that's not stupid, that's hilarious

op here, he shut down for like a solid two seconds and his face went so red. man I really got it from him then lmao

so beautiful

i cracked up

you really want me to try to pick just one

Me: "So how was your day at the _____?"
Them: "I don't actually work there anymore, I haven't worked there in six months, I've been through two jobs since then?"
Me: "Oh... right!"

I don't have the heart to tell my half-dozen or so rp friends i really couldn't care less about their personal lives and only ask about them because letting people vent on you is just what friends do for each other. i never retain any of that shit though, it's always in one ear and out the other so i'm forever inquiring about jobs they're not at anymore or new nieces they don't have because i got them mixed up with someone else

I mix my friends up a lot too anon. I'm usually good at remembering details, just not always who they're assigned to.

this is why i used to save my aim conversations lol

i can't even remember my own shit half the time...

oh my god I put my foot in my mouth constantly it's the worst

when I was a preteen I told my mom 'don't touch me' in public because I saw my friend tell her mom that and they laughed about it... my mom did not find it amusing

more recently I was volunteering as a ticket taker and an asian woman came like three hours early to get her ticket, so I recommended some places where she could go get coffee or something to wait since the venue wasn't open yet

she came back later and I unthinkingly asked her for her ticket again and she got pissed and said 'yeah because we all look alike huh'

:( I'm sorry I'm stupid

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 05:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 05:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 12:29 (UTC) - Expand

+1000

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 17:55 (UTC) - Expand

i can't even think of anything because i'm laughing at this

i think my dumb thing was being able to slip out of handcuffs when i was a teenager and telling the cops who'd tossed me in the paddywagon that i didn't need theirs, i had a pair of my own at home. then i tossed them their set.

they really didn't like that and i wound up with bruised wrists from how hard they cranked them on after that.

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 09:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 20:11 (UTC) - Expand

In middle school I once walked into my math class to see a janitor who I'd talked to before standing in our class, and without thinking I said, "Oh! I didn't know you were going to be our sub!"

i'm one of those people who will say absurd things when angry/very uncomfortable as some kind of horrendous socially-stunted reflex so it's hard to pick just one

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 09:07 (UTC) - Expand

"I love you"

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 17:51 (UTC) - Expand

When talking to someone about bodies of water in our area someone made the philosophical comment of "rivers don't talk, they roar or they ripple."

I replied "a ripple is just a river farting."

Everyone laughed so I tried to play it off, but god I felt so dumb I don't know why it came out of my mouth.

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 18:00 (UTC) - Expand

"Don't hand it off to Marshawn, let him throw it instead."

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 14:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 18:58 (UTC) - Expand

I don't remember why, but one day I was getting reamed by my mom for doing something really fucking stupid. I was sitting on the bed crying while she yelled at me and demanded to know why I did what I did. Me being a kid, I had no fucking clue why I had been such a dumbass. Do kids ever? Anyway, in this loud, sobbing voice, I finally said, "The devil made me do it!"

Whatever I did must not have been too bad because my mom immediately left the room and started laughing outside of my door. Still, what the fuck?

i was out with friends and we were at this new restaurant and one of them ordered this super pretty drink. when she got it, she took one sip and made a face before whispering to us it tasted like 'disappointment'

for some reason i couldn't help but mutter, 'like my boyfriend'

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 14:43 (UTC) - Expand

Re: ITT: THE STUPIDEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO SOMEONE

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-29 15:59 (UTC) - Expand

Yes, I'll mod.

+100000000000000000

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-02 12:30 (UTC) - Expand

+ ∞

(Anonymous) - 2015-04-02 14:56 (UTC) - Expand

"you're ooc"

the backlash

a IRL anecdote that haunts me to this very day...

a year ago, i was at an engagement party for my cousin. there's an inside joke within the family that all her previous boyfriends were Jewish (they weren't; my uncle just spread the rumor to piss off my intolerant, Roman Catholic grandmother). so there i am, making small talk with my cousin's fiance. trying to be funny, i teasingly asked him, "you Jewish?"

guess what. he was.

i was so embarrassed - it occurred to me in that moment that it wasn't a funny joke at all and that i was a huge asshole and so was the rest of my family. i was tripping over myself to make up for it, trying desperately to make it up to him.

later that night, we were chatting again, talking about our dogs. i asked him what breed his was.

"she's Jewish too," he said, deadpan.

i deserved it.

I once admitted to a stranger that I was the one coming in at night and farting on their pillow. They didn't take it well.

this probably isn't the stupidest thing I've ever said, but I do it all the damn time;

when ticket seller at the movie says "enjoy your movie" and I automatically say "you too".

or any permutation thereof. like waiter saying "enjoy your meal" etc.

every. freaking. time.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-30 04:00 (UTC) - Expand

ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2015-03-30 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

i once said to the bus driver "thanks mom"

it was a guy and he wasn't my mom