wankgate | 203: excited for hamtaro discourse

203: excited for hamtaro discourse

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it doesn't matter what i plurk. serious things, silly things, irl things, game things going on, game planning, tag plurks, memes. none of it ever gets a response except the once in a blue moon random cosy. asking if i'm boring or if people don't like me gets an instant cascade of oh bby we love you uwu so i'm not actually being unfollowed. just completely ignored.

feels really really bad man.

people can sense your negativity and are avoiding interacting with you

sounds legit

this is the main thing that turns me off to replying to someone's plurks. there's nothing worse than trying to chat with someone and having them turn it into a pity party or a black hole of negativity.

that's usually how it is unless you have an established group of plurk friends. it feels like plurk is kinda waning in popularity compared to a couple of years ago... unless you're willing to follow a lot of people it's not really that useful for game planning or setting up memes. you're not going to get much rp action from plurk unless you already have psl partners/gamemates who are heavy plurk users. personally, i only check it once a day or so to stay on top of mod posts and anything else that seems important. it's a lot easier to set up threads through dw/pms/discord/etc.

if you're so socially clumsy that you think asking people if they think you're boring/if they don't like you is a going to produce a meaningful response, that awkwardness probably makes you difficult to socialize with in other areas too.

anyone who thinks it's a good idea to ask a question like that on plurk definitely reads awkward

Who would seriously say 'actually yeah' to questions like that? Self-deprecating plurks are the quickest way to drive me off, personally, they're incredibly annoying and come across as manipulative as hell. The people I wind up talking to with frequent comments are those who are consistently and genuinely nice, or funny, or have really good CR with my characters.

If you want your ego stroked, you've got to do a lot of stroking to start with. If you enjoyed someone's tag, make a plurk spotlighting it and go 'OMG THIS GAI ROFL'. Don't overdo it, and don't be fake if you didn't really like it, but be thankful and appreciate your RP partners.

And RELAX. Don't base your validation solely on how much chatter you get.

i'm here right now, anon. it really, really sucks and i'm sorry you're feeling this way

i've just started distancing myself from plurk and looking elsewhere for attention and validation. that and indulging in offline hobbies are helping some, i think.

people are pretty self-centered when it comes to plurks, and they don't exert energy on replying to plurks unless they directly and earnestly fulfill some need of theirs, usually dealing with RP

you may meet a genuine friend among the masses who gives a shit about your stuff, but it's not common. it's also not something to take personally. it happens to the majority of us. the people who end up getting lots of replies are people who reply to everything ever, people who have tons of Plurk friends, are incredibly active in their games and/or who are usually playing Popular Character A.

this is differently a sweeping generalization, but it's not meant to be negative. online platforms like plurk, where we make statuses that people reply to, are driven by ego.

you gotta exert effort to bond with people, too, when it comes to the wanting people to reply to your RP stuff (which I mention because you should never expect reactions to silly, serious, irl stuff...people use plurk, for the most part, for RP and that's all that gamemates and RP buddies are gonna give a care about) so...focus on connecting with people rather than dwelling on what you don't get. if you're going to be that negative, people will feed off that energy and distance themselves. that's just how it works.

best of luck, friend! everyone knows what it feels like to feel like they're being ignored. just remember that people usually, generally, always just care the most about themselves. most people, or no one, is intentionally ignoring you out of malice.

oh cringe. yes, people aren't catering to them because they're selfish assholes who don't get their brilliance. whatever.

yikes

Oh like hell most people use plurk for rp things even the majority of the time. I have a good 250 people on my timeline and maybe ten or fifteen plurk regularly about game things. The rest, it's job plurks, it's moving plurks, it's looking for job plurks, or they biked today, or here's cat pic #295398345, or yet another gpoy or here's an angry PSA about something. Plurk is a twitter-facebook hybrid for Dreamwidth and you know it.

are you interacting with people in their plurks or just waiting for them to come to you? also how fucking often are you throwing these "am I boring" pity parties. no one wants to deal with that shit. it's fine to have a bad day and be honest that you're not feeling great, but nonstop guilting people for validation doesn't make them want to be your friend.

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203: excited for hamtaro discourse

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