wankgate | 251: back in my day wank meant something

251: back in my day wank meant something

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

how is this 'second' person not in fucking jail????? you all have evidence online about the maltreatment, did no one think to report them at all?

pretty sure at the time they were reported. but then finn aged over 18 and became legal, since i think half the stuff done was online and not applicable. they were, i think, canadian, so there was the cross country stuff. the majority of what they did when finn was underage was borderline and after finn left, it was all stuff that they dealt with in the aftermath.

i do recall seeing stuff on here about people contacting their families and the authorities, so things were tried, but second skirted the legalities and was never charged with anything.

courts of law tend to need more substantial evidence than 'something some anon said on a journal roleplay community.'

The sad thing is that a lot of this stuff is actually either borderline or not criminal. Fucking over someone's mental health is a pretty vague behavior to allege, and Fin being 17-18 means that depending where exactly he was located, he may well have been over the local age of consent. The internet at large tends to blur 18 as the age of legal adulthood (in the USA) with the age of consent to sexual activity, but in fact it can be as low as 14 depending on the state, as fucking horrible as that is - meaning that a DA wouldn't be able to nail her for the BDSM shit. Generally speaking, unless someone's getting their ass beat or their paycheck stolen, relationship abuse tends to be difficult or impossible to prove or prosecute, so the manipulation angle is also probably a legal dead end. Even causing Fin's death is more something we've imputed by the facts we have rather than something that could be objectively demonstrated in a court of law (or to cops who likely beat their own partners and kids, js).

Other anons may have further deets, but iirc it was never actually confirmed that Second even lived in the US.

I did report it.

What's absolutely terrible and completely and utterly unforgivable is that second's friends knew. they knew about the relationship that started when Fin was 15. they knew she was grooming him and instructing his self-harm sessions and they didn't report it to the fucking police because, as I recall the logic of one of them being, "standards are different wrt age gap relationships when you're Queer".

as if "older woman abuses boy and claims it's consensual because something something women aren't predators" becomes qualitatively different if the boy has a vagina

(deleted comment)

thanks, i appreciate the license to punch my husband in the gut whenever he annoys me

go away, troll

yeah

wish I could say she was the only one who felt that way, but I went to a trusted older adult rper to ask what I should do/say when it all came out, and he got mad and said there was nothing wrong with their relationship. the bad reputation of queer theory academics is not entirely unearned (he was one).

i feel like there's a point of many fields of theory where they've spent so long in the theorizing/writing academic papers environment that they forget they're talking about real actual people who can be profoundly damaged by whatever they're spinning ten-dollar words about.

Ew??? Who the fuck were these friends and are they still in the community?

I don't know/remember, although I do know the main cheerleader was called something like uou?

I believe this relationship was brought to the community's wider attention when pastebins were put here featuring them and their friends gushing about how, while their relationship started in a slightly unhealthy place, it was sooooooooo healthy now. So if someone has links to the original thread/you want to go dumpster diving, you would find names there.

uoo, or u00.

anyway, this was all back in 2015.

https://wankgate.dreamwidth.org/35642.html?thread=135830074#cmt135830074

before anyone misunderstands the 2015 comment was just noting when the link was from, i think that’s the post where shit blew up for anyone who wasn’t around back then.

Those pastebins are depressing. I'd forgotten how many people were just... totally fine with it, and only started backpedaling after the worse details emerged.

Sometimes it really feels like people can be memed into supporting just about goddamn anything as long as you just, what? Put the slightest effort into spinning something as positive?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

251: back in my day wank meant something

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