251: back in my day wank meant something

[ryanongosling]

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Comments

[hellofoxtrots]

I cannot believe I have to clarify this:

It was literally "even if I didn't know her, this would be horrible"

I use tess's codes and was expressing sympathy for the loss she's experiencing.

[(Anonymous)]

Speaking as a former wanker, logging in to clarify anything is not the best choice of action.

Let anons be anons. And in time, everything will die down. You are just adding fuel to the fire by doing this.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh sweetheart, no. Logging in on wg will never result in anything good for you.

[(Anonymous)]

oh this is gonna be good. nothing like seeing wankers making it even worse for them.

[(Anonymous)]

jerks off on this too

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a5/99/aa/a599aa5352bd44e30c3c9bfed12a8ef2.gif

[(Anonymous)]

So, you logged in to defend yourself on Wankgate.

[(Anonymous)]

thing is, that's not what you said

you didn't NEED to say you're not a fan of her, that's irrelevant to the loss of her child. sometimes, you (general) don't need to make it about you. you can just say "this is horrible".

(also empathy and sympathy are not the same thing).

+1

[(Anonymous)]

it's the bizarre inclination to make it about yourself and your feelings that made it a rotten thing to say in a plurk like that. no one gives a fuck whether you are or aren't a fan of a person's work when their child is dead. just express your condolences and replurk.

+2

[(Anonymous)]

In no way, shape, or form should your own thoughts and opinions about ANYTHING be in a plurk about someone who lost their child. Even if the person kicked your puppy (which Tess obviously didn't and your comment just looks like sour grapes), you keep that shit to yourself.

[(Anonymous)]

"even if i didn't know her" is not the same as "even if i wasn't a fan". not even remotely close

you're trying to rewrite history but you're not exactly smart

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Weird ass choice of them to log in and say they didn't say something everyone can see they said.

[(Anonymous)]

Jfc, Tai! Just stop while you’re ahead

[(Anonymous)]

"even if i wasn't a fan of her work, that's always a horrible loss to go through, she has all my empathy."

"It was literally 'even if I didn't know her, this would be horrible'."

You realize these are not remotely the same statement, right?

[(Anonymous)]

that is not what you said. stop trying to rewrite history and grow the fuck up.

you've always been pretty self-centered but this is a new low for you. do better.

[(Anonymous)]

why are you like this

[(Anonymous)]

fwiw, I wasn't in the plurk, but I absolutely read your quoted response like... four or five times trying to figure out what people were upset about.

to me it reads at first blush as "[I am a fan of her/knew her, but] even if that weren't the case, it would be horrible," because that's how I would use that kind of phrasing myself. Other people who don't use that kind of phrasing a lot are unlikely to pick up the implied pre-clause.

I don't think you phrased it great, and I do think that the people who are mad are coming from a sincere place, but I think this is just a straight-up miscommunication about an ambiguous turn of phrase, and what you wrote was an understandable (if unfortunate) way to put it. I've made similar fuck-ups myself, assuming that my intent is clearer than it is, and it sucks that people jump to the most malign interpretation.

Others are right, though, that logging in was a mistake. Made that fuck-up myself, too.

[(Anonymous)]

it should clue you in as to how much goodwill tai has burned through that wgers are still unwilling to buy into the more charitable reading of what they wrote

[(Anonymous)]

but why? it really feels like everyone just want to dogpile on tai

[(Anonymous)]

fuck tai

[(Anonymous)]

because tai has never been one to extend the same courtesy to anyone else.

[(Anonymous)]

because tai is a self-centered piece of shit, they stand out in a whole community of assholes because of their past and current actions. there's no such thing as a good-faith reading of anything when it comes to them

yeah, i want to dogpile on tai. they deserve it, especially after leaving that kind of comment about someone who is generally well-liked in the community.

[(Anonymous)]

because tai does shit like aggressively out the anon mods of a game they just dropped because it was closing in a way they disliked, and something something shipping

[(Anonymous)]

I can see it as "Although I'm not a fan of her work" and "Even in a situation where I am not a fan of her work", so yes, it's not the best wording choice because of how easily it could be misunderstood. I do think in general, the line just felt unnecessary if only because a what-if approach just gives it a negative, insincere feeling.

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, that's basically it - I think it's an unnecessary, bad choice of words, but, like, in a "if you had been carefully scrutinising your wording you would have caught the ambiguity here" way, not in a "you are being unambiguously shitty or negligent" way?

I also think that, aside from people clearly not liking Tai, there's an aggravating factor on both sides of this being a high-emotion situation, which means both that Tai was less likely to be carefully proof-reading their responses because that wasn't necessarily something to think about when reacting to a horrible thing, AND that people are primed to take things in ways they aren't necessarily meant without thinking about what else could be meant. That's kind of the nature of how people react when upsetting things happen, and it's just sad how easy it is to talk past one another.

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt and i will admit i was one of the first ones who got annoyed at the wording (I didn't know Tai, but I misread it as the first one), so I thought it was tasteless, but I agree with your point. it didn't have malice, just kind of "dude, tpo?" kind of reaction. looking at it now, i still think it was unnecessary to add despite what was meant, but i understand why people got really upset about it. the login is a hit or miss? this person seems really hated.