wankgate | 239: how does one become popular on dreamwidth rp?

as a large chested teenager, it was constantly brought up. so much so that my nickname was either 'hooters' or 'tits mcgee/tits (lastname)'. i had grown adult men commenting on my breasts when i was 14. having tits as a teenager = being a slut/whore (even though i was a virgin until 18.)

trust me, i would have loved to have had 'normal' boobs or a smaller chest as a teen. i got way too much unwanted attention by both peers and adults.

as someone who also had large tits as a teenager, i would rather have the small boobs problem. at least then i wouldn't have had the added health issues that came with my back and shoulder pains because I couldn't afford decent bras that supported my chest properly. my pain was so bad that i was able to get reduction surgery with my insurance, but then had people acting like i was ~so crazy for not feeling so blessed~ over my large tits.

sorry but unless you can afford surgery or won the genetic lottery, large boobs aren't even that attractive when you can actually see them outside of clothes. mine had gross stretch marks, veins all over, and sagged to my belly button without a bra. it made me feel incredibly disgusting, disproportionate, and insecure with my body. getting that reduction surgery was one of the best decisions i ever made in my life and my only regret was not getting the doctor to make them even smaller.

i also got a reduction, but i got mine post baby and i was at a ridiculous size (h) and even now when i mention that i had a reduction, people look at what i still have and go "... really???" i wish they'd taken off more too. it also didn't help much with my back pain but i think that has more to do with me being in a lot of accidents/trauma than just boob related stuff. but yeah, bras? i had to get a social worker to write up a letter for my assistance when i was 18 because i couldn't afford one single bra that was actually sized properly for me. everything i bought dug grooves into my shoulders or broke or was cheap and i had to wear three of.

between the physical pain of large tits, the sexualization of others because of large tits, and having to battle for reduction surgery... boobs are a pain in the everywhere. i'd love a c cup.

size h, more like size holy shit! that made me wince for you, anon. :( most places don't carry bras beyond size d, and it's so awful when you're poor because at that point you need to special order, and that shit is expensive.

i don't think people take into consideration that boobs are just blobs of fat that weighs like shit, so you're actually walking around with something that weighs as heavy as a watermelon on your chest. having that constant weight hanging in front of you without proper support is a kind of pain i don't wish on anyone, unless they're stupid enough to get surgery for it.

c cup was what i went down to. best thing was being able to not have to wear a bra when i am home, and not dealing with so much pain from the deep grooves in my shoulders anymore. but there are times where i wish i had gone down to a b. my tits have always been numb so i get literally no pleasure out of having them in any way.

mine too! the numb thing, that is. i never had much sensation in them before the reduction, and post one of them is completely fucked up in the sensory department and my nipple feels like it's my upper chest while my other nipple just hurts to touch. i think i'm at a dd or so now (i haven't been properly sized since the operation and it was almost two decades ago) but what i'm down to i can buy shirts that don't make me look like a balloon and cheap sports bras at the dollar store that i can put two on if i need to and they don't kill my shoulders.

i support anyone that wants a reduction for any reason. at this point, i'm tempted to look at getting another one, because i feel like they're just in the way. though, tbh, i've always felt oddly disconnected from my boobs, and i think that's a big boob thing. because it's you and 'the boobs', and the way people talk/react to them make it seem like its own entity. i'd be perfectly happy as an a cup, tbh.

i can't remember if it got any better or worse after my surgery. i just remembered feeling kind of sad because one of my exes really liked breastplay but when she tried to return the favor it just didn't do anything for me and actually kind of hurt. i can't even imagine what it would be like if i ever got pregnant and my hormones were to change in that department.

sometimes i wonder if my teenage "growth spurt" in that area fucked up my nerves or something, but i never really looked into it. i assumed it was one of those "not for me" things, but i'm not so sure now.

i do mega sympathize with others who suffer the big titty problem, because there's this weird stigma if you're not "grateful" when you express interest in a reduction. i hope you're able to get yours down to a comfortable size as well. it's been over a decade since my surgery and i sometimes consider it myself.

also as a lesbian i can safely say i did not appreciate the amount of unwanted male attention my boobs got me.

i've always said that because my boobs grew so quickly, i think that's why they were so insensitive. i went from an a to a b to a c and then dd in a matter of a year. i was a dd from 14 on and they got up to an eee before i got pregnant. i've always thought that first year and the spurt from flat as a board to camel humps on my chest had my nerves unable to keep up with the spurt. i've known other larger breasted women who've had pretty high sensitivity in their breasts, but i just never got it.

i also feel you on the 'partner likes x and when they try to reciprocate, it just doesn't tickle my pickle' scene. it's a nice thought and i know where they're coming from, but i'd prefer they didn't.

I'm a very small-chested cis woman and my boobs are so sensitive it is actually distressing, like I can barely stand them being touched at all. thirding the 'partner likes doing this and it's sad because I hate it' sentiment from the other end of the spectrum

Actually super comforting to hear other people talk about this.

And I *will* make this about RP: when I write smut I don't think about chests literally at all and I honestly hate (but deal) when partners bring up nipple play etc and it's just from my own formative experience with having like no sensation in my breasts and finding it tedious. It's not a part of the body I even think about when I write, which hey! Maybe my own writing detriment but I think I'll just continue to write about the stuff that does interest.

also making this about rp; it's one thing to have your own personal preferences, that's all very valid, but rp is also fictional. i think it's okay even if breast/nipple play does nothing for you, if you want to explore it or if your partner similarly wants to explore it, to feel free to make it up and use your imagination? like i don't get the sentiment of letting personal inexperience or indifference prevent you from writing about something a character could very well be into?*

like most of us here are afab writing about cocks and dicks, we have no real way of knowing what that actually personally feels like. and it's going to feel different for everyone. i absolutely hate penetrative sex but when i write a character enjoying it i'm not going to bring my personal feelings into it. that fictional character isn't me, and rp is fiction in the first place. we're all using our imaginations here.

*obviously i'm not talking about triggers and squicks here

idk I thought I was mostly clear that it just didn't interest me and that just goes into writing. If someone wants to write a scene with it I will, it just isn't all that fun for me. Nothin' deep.

one of the above anons talking about having numb tits: it's definitely another story when i am writing kinks like breastplay. i'll often have my character be more receptive to sex things i'm not simply because it's fun to write. like penetration alone doesn't do it for me personally, but i know it works for some people, i've had partners who enjoy it, so i know it's a thing and i'll write my character getting off to it.

in a way it's kind of a wish fulfillment thing. in fiction you can throw in all kinds of unrealistic factors to make it more fun to write about, like aphro magic and transformations. the crazier shit i can write, the better. i don't rp for 100% realism, lol.

i really appreciate hearing that other large-chested people feel that disconnect! i'm transmasc and i honestly truly have no idea whether i want surgery or not. i'm an i cup and my boobs are definitely inconvenient and painful but i really can't even figure out my feelings about them enough to decide if i want them off or not. they're just...the boobs.

omg anon, i feel for you. i'm cis but can't imagine being transmasc and stuck with an i cup.

as someone who's had the surgery, if you can afford it or get insurance to cover it, i highly recommend it. for me it was the "happiest" surgery i could ever ask for. after a 2 week recovery on narcotic painkillers, i felt immediate improvement and comfort. it's literal weight off your chest! to top it off, the scars are kind of cool.

if you have any worries about the surgery and that's why you're unsure, i can go into more detail on my personal experience.

yeah, it's not the experience of surgery that i'm worried about so much as like...you really cannot bind an i cup effectively, or if you can i haven't found the binder that does it, so i have no way to test an unboobified body? and i don't know if just getting a reduction is a good idea for the sole purpose of "bring me down to bindable size so i can then decide if i want them off completely." like it seems if i'm gonna undergo major chest surgery i should be sure of which kind of surgery i want first instead of having to have it twice, lol.

it would probably be easier if i was a binary trans man, because then the answer would presumably be pretty clear, but alas, i am but an enby who's just sort of moving more mascward the older i get. and truly has NO idea how the world is going to react to me in a body without boobs.

as someone that sees them as sort of 'not really a part of me because they're 'the boobs'', i'd advise getting a reduction and not a complete mastectomy. because of your situation and the nb ness of it and binding, and just the size and all that, it's less of a blow/adjustment to go from an i (i'm the h anon) to something like a d. they're still there/large, but they'd be bindable then (though i'd suggest asking for a c since that's where i think i'd be more comfortable than where i'm currently at). you'd still have boobs, still have to bind them, but they wouldn't be this 'presence' in your life that i find large breasts tend to be. it might make it easier for you to handle having them if they just aren't so much. and there's nothing saying you can't get a secondary operation after, but it's easier to take off more later than regret having so much gone.

that's good advice anon, thank you. i really appreciate it! i'm hoping that at some point (once healthcare shit is a bit more sorted) i'll be able to swing a few appointments with a therapist who can help me with this decision further. i can't really picture myself being that mad about the total mastectomy, but i also can't picture myself ever going back to a femme name and i still have a femme new middle name in case i do, and i can't picture myself being that mad about going through surgery a second time, either.

239: how does one become popular on dreamwidth rp?

Re: character tropes you can't stand

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