251: back in my day wank meant something

[ryanongosling]

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Comments

[(Anonymous)]

genuine question, who are these people? what did they do?

[(Anonymous)]

stormy: infamous wanker, extremely vindictive, escalated to irl stalking at least once
ken: irl rapist
second: irl literal pedophile/groomer
selwyn: sent death threats to other players (unless i'm confusing selwyn with someone else)
tora: one of the most spectacular meltdowns in lj/dwrp history
hellion: irl rapist
the hang gliding incident: https://www.reddit.com/r/HobbyDrama/comments/tff0zo/journal_roleplay_the_infamous_christmas_hang/
funk: see above
treegate: https://www.reddit.com/r/HobbyDrama/comments/8rtyko/roleplaying_treegate_2014_the_drama_that_kept_on/

[(Anonymous)]

idk about death threats i thought selwyn was just that one hp player who had some kind of irl brain injury and now does not understand boundaries and is weird in a very sad way and we don’t play with her but try not to give her much attention

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

aaaah you're right, my bad, i am confusing selwyn with someone else

yeah, selwyn is the one who is literally incapable of understanding boundaries and some of us are reluctant to drag her because it feels like picking on someone who actually is mentally ill

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

yeah i think it’s fine to say who she is when someone doesn’t know but beyond that i try not to talk about her much. she genuinely can’t help herself and the stark difference between her before and after is proof of it.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

didn't second also cause the death of her underage victim or am i thinking of another pedo/groomer?

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

no, you're thinking right. though idk how much detail any of us actually have for real, but yeah, the kid went to live with her or said he was gonna, and next thing is he turned up dead. soooooooooo....

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

from what i remember, he left and went back home and his death was suicide after the fact. he went out and his parents were looking for him and it was a whole thing. the blame was put on second because (and i don't remember the specifics) a lot of people were blaming her for the guy being mentally not in a good place to do what he did.

it was less 'second killed someone/presumed to have killed someone' and more 'seconds actions hurt someone to the point it's presumed they were behind the mental cause of why the person did what they did'.

(frozen comment) da

[(Anonymous)]

From what I do recall about the Second stuff, she basically encouraged her victim into self harming for her to get her rocks off? So yeah, she messed that kid up so badly.

(frozen comment) Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

yeah, she was doing a lot of really fucked up stuff to him in the guise of a supposed bdsm relationship. encouraging him to hurt himself, controlling him tightly, stuff like that. even if he´d started out in an absolutely solid mental place, that kind of shit would easily have destroyed him, and needless to say he wasn´t in that kind of a place to begin with.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

He was weeks away from turning 20 and I remember the interpretation being that he did it because he felt he was aging out of her affections.

I checked second's tumblr years later out of curiousity and she doesn't feel sorry for a lick of it, for the record. I actually saw her trying to smear dwrp for "running her boyfriend out of the community" when as anyone who was there remembers, we were begging him to stay and telling her to fuck off.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

unfortunately, the two aren't mutually exclusive. too much pressure on an abuse victim to leave their abuser can make them cling more tightly to their abuser. it's really not uncommon, actually, and i wouldn't be surprised if the anoncomms' general lack of moderation or restraint really did contribute to fin not being able to extricate himself from second.

(frozen comment) +1

[(Anonymous)]

i’ve seen this thing happen again and again both in friend groups and as a outsider. often the victim doesn’t even consider it abuse and what they see it as is a attack on someone who they love. a lot of times they cut off anyone who didn’t voice unequivocal support for their abuser, which often meant that they ended up further isolated and in turn more dependent on them.

begging someone to leave their partner in anon comments on wankgate only works against the message too. second obviously spun it as anonymous harassment to them.

(frozen comment) Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

it's so sickening to watch someone be abused and to know that trying to convince them of it is going to be fully counterproductive, but it's vital that people who want to help know how to do it properly. Like someone who ignorantly puts ice on a burn, trying to pry the victim away from their abuser is only going to make everything worse but it can FEEL so much like the right thing to do.

im sorry you've been in that position, nonnie :(

(frozen comment) Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

you're not supposed to put ice on a burn?

(frozen comment) Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

nope! you will inflict further tissue damage that way. DO NOT ice a burn -- use cool-not-cold water.

(frozen comment) da

[(Anonymous)]

Wankgate? Anoncomms? Guys, we were talking to Fin in person. Give us credit that Fin's friends and concerned acquaintances actually tried talking to him when it all came out.

Second spun people loving and caring about Fin as harassment. Which hey, come to think of it, is exactly what she did when Fin's parents didn't approve of her, only to change her tune the second they did. Funny how that works. Cured of their abuse overnight!

(frozen comment) Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

fin having people trying to speak to them irl does not make the anon comments never happen. you cannot pretend that it blowing up on wankgate did not influence the situation at all.

tbh that doesn’t invalidate the previous point: if you put a abuse victim on the spot, especially if they have not come to terms with it, they will usually side with their abuser. and more often then not, they now feel as if you’re someone they can’t trust or at worst, the enemy. your example of how second treated fin’s parents is a perfect example of how abusers will manipulate and control their victims’ relationships. they will turn your “loving and caring” into something nefarious or dangerous, because you’re now actively threatening their control and they need you gone asap.

(frozen comment) Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

tsk-tsking ordinary people for not being able to act like this around a child being molested is frankly psychotic though

(frozen comment) Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

"Have you considered that all several hundred of you, a community full of CSA and SA victims, should have simply Not reacted poorly to the pedophile in your midst being revealed, on the off chance that some of you might have been able to slowly pill Fin on his relationship with second over the years to come? She never would have figured out what your intentions were and cut Fin off from you regardless, of course."

I think some of you simply do not read what you write.

[(Anonymous)]

treegate turned ten years old this year

fuck i'm old

[(Anonymous)]

I recall Tora also trying to get her classmate expelled over rp shit??

[(Anonymous)]

correct me if i'm wrong but iirc the classmate was luc

[(Anonymous)]

It was.

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, Luc fucking sucks but he didn't deserve that.