wankgate | 251: back in my day wank meant something

251: back in my day wank meant something

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i love that you tried a gotcha about identical texting memes when people have brought up that point plenty of times before on this very comm

you're right, tfln is the de facto texting meme. if you feel the others are spam complain to a mod

Isolation in parenthood is a big thing, and both the new parent and friends can lose contact. It is healthy for the parent to be able to take some time away from their child for a little bit to focus on themselves so they can be the best person for their child (raise your hand if you ever had a parent, who wanted you, say they gave up 'everything' for you)

It is in fact common for women to lose their identity outside of 'momma' (think of the number of new mothers who get gifts involving their child during those first few years).

Usually though, to be able to maintain an identity does require active work on both the parents and the friends group behalf, along with a lot of flexibility on both sides. And even though a lot of the time both sides say it is possible, it becomes harder as life in general becomes harder.

Sometimes a friend should come over, offer to help pick up the house, put a frozen pizza in the oven and let the new parent bitch for a bit about being a new parent before getting that refocus to happen, even if it is just sitting down and reading the book together in silence. But also, the parent needs to see that their friends did not stop having lives and are on pause waiting for them to come back and make the effort to talk about the non-parent based stuff going on in their friends lives.

i'm tempted to say "you must be new here" but only someone who's been on wankgate plenty long enough to know ayrt wasn't actually assuming you specifically meant the hot or not meme would try to use gen vs. smut wank as a distraction

ngl as someone who has a few friends who have kids, has family who have kids, and acquaintances who have kids... Wanting to make sure your baby grows up healthy is not the same as not valuing your friendships, and the fact that you have to make it one or the other feels more like you only value the friendship if it's about you.

People don't realize how hard it is to raise a kid, and honestly every time I meet with my friends who have kids, all I want to do is help them so they can rest during the time we're hanging out. I play with the kid and watch over them so their parents can get some food and breathe a little. I don't even like kids, but I like my friends, and so I help them out, and we can talk about fandoms and life updates normally without acting like their child is a hindrance to that.

Literally no one is arguing that people should neglect their kids.

The whole point here is that the friends who have kids become incapable of talking about fandoms and life updates, like your friends do. All they talk about is the kids, no matter the situation. Not every parent is like this, obviously, but the ones who are usually lose their friends.

This isn't even unique to parenting, I've had friends who became extremely boring to talk to and hang out with after they got a new job, because suddenly every conversation was mindless ranting about work and coworkers no matter how I'd try and change the subject.

It's not malicious to realize you have nothing in common with someone anymore and drift apart as a result, and it's normal to be sad when that happens.

this and your other comment have the weirdest vibe

the bolter
K nevermind im just going to deactivate this account. Bye.

it's ambien o'clock again

pro tip. if your plurk is full of you rambling about how much you wish someone would murder the pope* because he's a terrible person, and trying to get other people to give you asspats and tell you you're not unethical for your violent thoughts because yes he's so awful, the content warning you need up top is not "religion". you're missing the point of warnings. giving none at all is better than one that misleading.

and i intensely dislike the pope. nonetheless, didn't enjoy being blindsided by unexpected violent rhetoric about rl things.

When I took Ambien, I only had problems if I drank alcohol earlier in the night or something unnaturally kept me extra awake when I was trying to sleep after taking it. But I was never weird and dark and moody. Usually, I was just more uninhibited and goofy, and had hallucinations. I would get online and blearily and cheerfully chirp at my friends on plurk about the Hatman and other weird stuff I was seeing because I thought it was so novel and wanted to share. Then they'd yell at me to go to bed.

The few times it happened, my friends and I just laughed about it afterwards because I mostly just acted silly and they thought the way I described the hallucinations was funny.

I think the Ambien is probably just a cover, but even if Ambien was playing a part I think someone's personality often plays a part in how they react when impaired. If her response to becoming more uninhibited is to be petty and say the quiet parts out loud, I'll just say that's not a universal response to being in that state. I was never mean, I just had a burning desire to share with my friends how my desktop background was now moving and how cool it looked.

"bambien" episodes have been happening for 4 - 5+ years, as far back as deerington. they would also write off putting event prompts and tags and later blame it on "bambien". some i received went against my stated permissions in my journals but we were friendly at the time so i let it slide and disengaged when it kept happening.

goodbye goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky

it's giving cluster b. avoid avoid

foad already

Same hat. I'm the anon from a few years ago that asked if it was normal for my friend to forget or ignore all boundaries and RP permissions and content warnings every time they took Ambien.

someone probably linked her to this thread. probably the same person who is leaking her private plurks here in the first place

i don't care about milk but i hope i don't have a snake like this on my timeline

It's not weird after demands that there should be more mods who are around when the others aren't. So clearly people wanted mods to make decisions on their own.

The real bias is that everyone wants the mods to cater to their specific needs depending on whether they like a meme or not, and thinking their opinions are the most important and the most valid.

If you were one of the BS mods, you'd have your own bias.

ngl my guy, you're in the wrong community, then. leaked deets are commonplace here. if that's against your personal ethics, totally fine, but grandstanding about 'snakes' on timelines here for a commonly accepted practice when the pastebin regards rp is incredibly tone deaf.

common things snakes say

probably cee or batty doing the leaking. wouldn't be the first time.

are you lost

Ok Taylor

it's this

most of you guys haven't even figured out that quite often the mods and meme posters are deleting on their own, before any kind of report hits the page.

the community is moderated now, boo hoo

are you a snake

aka milk already was in this thread like they always are every time they're brought up lol

sometimes i disagree on threads just to see how long it takes for this comment to show up

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251: back in my day wank meant something

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